


Shattered

by pein



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13995840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pein/pseuds/pein
Summary: In which a teenage boy wakes in a hospital to find he's been missing for 2 years and knows nothing of his past. Sasuke/OMC with a little bit of crackships on the side. AU where Sasuke isn't an avenger. No character-bashing. Semi-redeemed Akatsuki. Rated T because of language and violence.Probably won't update much because I'm awful!





	1. From Dark To Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [johnseeds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnseeds/gifts).



Everything is dark, and I am alone. I hear nothing and feel nothing.

"Choose."

A voice, loud and booming, surrounds me. I know what it's going to say.

"Die here with everything, or live on with nothing."

It's simple for me. I smile, and make my choice.

\---

"Finally, he's awake..."

I open my eyes slowly, squinting from the brightness. I'm in an unfamiliar room, propped up in a bed with pillows.

A boy leans into my field of vision, and I don't recognize him. He's blonde and has bright blue eyes, and I can tell he's worried. "Aki?"

I open my lips to reply, but I hear a door open. A man walks to the foot of my bed. "You're awake." His face is almost completely covered by a mask, and he has bright silver hair.

"Hello," I say softly.

He gives me a pleased look. "Hello to you, too. Is it alright for me to ask you some questions?"

"You just did."

"Alright, then!" he starts cheerfully, "Do you know who I am, Akihiko?"

I think for a moment. "No."

"Do you know where you are?"

Same answer. "No."

"Do you know your name?"

"Well," I reply, "you called me 'Akihiko', so I guess that's my name."

"Hm!" The man leans forward and his expression turns serious. "Looks like your mind is gone."

A feminine voice whimpers, and I look to my right. There's a pretty girl with short pink hair staring at the man with a face of pure despair.

I wonder what's on my left, so I look to that side. A black-haired and dark blue-eyed boy has his eyes locked on the man as well, but his expression is a scowl.

"What does this mean, Kakashi?" he asks, and I recognize his voice as being the one that commented on me being awake.

"Well," Kakashi muses, "This means I have a lot of paperwork to do, and that I should report to Lady Tsunade immediately." He pauses. "Sasuke?"

"What?" asks the boy cautiously.

"Take care of Akihiko while I'm gone, and try to get him standing."

"I'll do my best."

Kakashi leaves, and Sasuke turns to me, a bored look on his face. I feel a strange sense of deja vu, but ignore it.

"Akihiko. Sit up." It's a command, not a request, and I try to comply to no avail. He sighs. "This is gonna take a while."

\---

"I'm sorry," I mumble as I lean on Sasuke's shoulder. I've been given a clean bill of health, so the hospital wants me out as soon as I can walk. This is proving extremely difficult, since my brain decided to give up on itself during the week I was out. It makes me wonder - what happened that was horrible enough for my brain to shut itself completely down?

As I'm lost in my thoughts, I trip and Sasuke is forced to catch me again. "Goddamn it, Akihiko!" he yells at me. "Watch your step!"

"I just apologized, you asshole!" My voice is quieter than his, but not by much. "Give me a break!"

"You give ME a break! I can't believe Kakashi told me to train you to walk again! You're absolutely useless!"

I shove Sasuke off of me and reach for the wall, but my hand slips, making me collide with the floor painfully. "If you're so against helping me," I manage, "then just go away!" I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears that are starting to form from both pain and humiliation. Sasuke realizes he's made a mistake.

"Aki..." Sasuke comes over to me and pulls me up gently. I go to push him off but he catches my wrist in his hand.

I lock eyes with him, and for a second, a memory runs through my mind. Warmth and comfort... I turn away. "Damn you."

"Come on," he says plainly, his tone going back to normal. "One more walk around this floor should do it."

"Whatever."

\---

"Finally!" I exclaim, twirling around and then nearly falling over. Sasuke catches my arm, making a sound of annoyance.

"You're so girly," he groans. "Just walk like a normal person. It's time to find out where you used to live."

I look at him in confusion. "Doesn't Lady Tsunade know?"

Naruto walks into the hospital room, hands behind his head. "No one knows!"

"Hey, Naruto!" I say with a smile, then frown. "Wait, what do you mean, 'no one knows'? Where's my family?"

Sasuke and Naruto share a glance, and then look away. It's Sakura, who's been sitting beside the bed and reading a book, that answers.

"You don't have any surviving family."

I look at her, confused. "Do I have a team, then? Like you and Naruto and Sasuke have with Kakashi?"

"They're dead as well," says Kakashi as he enters the room. "You did have one, though, for a little less than a year."

"About a year?" I repeat. "How old even am I?"

Kakashi thinks for a moment. "Well, you graduated from the Academy when you were 12, you were put on a team, they all died, then you left for two years before being found two weeks ago by ANBU..."

"You're 15," Sasuke says. "Just like Naruto, Sakura, and I."

I nod, absorbing the new information. Sakura closes her book and stands up, taking my hand in hers. "Alright, then, Aki! Let's go!"

"Why are you... never mind." I allow myself to be pulled out the door and into the hallway. As we reach the staircase, I remember that we're on the fourth floor. Well, there're worse ways to practice walking.

As I stumble down the stairs, I notice the others are quiet, apprehensive almost. Sakura's hand is still holding mine, and I realize she's trying to comfort me. My heart warms and I feel thankful for her kindness.

We stop outside the hospital doors, and I stretch, letting go of Sakura's hand. "Well," I begin, "I think I'm ready."

"That's always good," replies Kakashi.

I begin to feel nervous about all of this. "Kakashi?"

"Yes, Akihiko?" He looks over at me with a challenging look in his eye.

I shrink back. "Nevermind."

We walk in silence down the main street and out the village gates. We enter the forest surrounding Konoha, and my uneasiness grows.

"Akihiko." It's Kakashi's turn to call my name, and I respond accordingly.

"Yes, Kakashi?"

"I'm not going to hurt you."

I stop walking, and turn to him. Sasuke and Naruto are racing ahead, with Sakura not far behind, and I know they can't hear us. "I know."

"I don't think you do."

I shrug. "I don't have much of a choice as to whether I trust you or not."

"You do have a choice, and I know you don't trust me."

"It doesn't matter. I don't know who anyone is. I couldn't run even if you tried to kill me."

Kakashi sighs deeply, turns away, and goes down on one knee. "Akihiko, get on my back."

"Do what now?"

"Get on my back, I'm going to carry you." He turns his head to look me in the eye, and he's completely serious. "It's either my back like an equal or my arms like a wife. Your choice."

I groan and obey him, climbing awkwardly onto his back. "This is goddamn embarrassing."

"You have to learn to trust me. You trusted me before, and you're going to trust me now." He stands, holding me securely against him. I fight a blush.

"This has nothing to do with trust."

Kakashi suddenly jolts, swinging me to his left. "This has everything to do with trust."

"You almost dropped me, you asshole!"

His voice is amused. "I wouldn't dare to. And you're going to have to learn that."

"Irritating old man..."

"Hold on tight." Before I have a chance to properly obey, Kakashi leans forward and sprints towards the three teenagers that he's responsible for. I hold onto his shoulders for dear life, pressing my face against his back. It's scary, but I find myself understanding that Kakashi doesn't hate me. He's just a very unemotional sort of man. I can relate to that. I close my eyes and before I know it I'm back on solid ground.

"Fun?" asks Kakashi, setting me down. I cross my arms and look away.

"Not one bit."

He laughs, a clear, goofy sound. I sigh and turn to Sakura.

"Is he always like this?"

She shrugs and smiles up at her team leader. "Dunno, are you always like this?"

"Might as well be, for all the good he does us," grumbles Sasuke. "Took you two long enough." He glares at the silver-haired man, who meets his eyes. They have a staring contest for a few seconds, then Kakashi blinks. Sasuke turns away.

"Hey! Kakashi-sensei!" calls Naruto from the top of a nearby tree. "I see something!"

Sasuke jumps to join him, and Kakashi follows, leaving me with Sakura. We give each other a smile, as if to say "I'm glad we aren't like that".

"Sakura," Kakashi yells down. Sakura looks up. "Get Akihiko up here."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? He's too tall for me to have on my back!" she replies back.

I groan. "Sakura... I think you're going to have to carry me an alternate way."

And so I am carried up the tree, held bridal-style by a girl a good few centimeters shorter than me. As you may think, this does wonders for my already horrible self-esteem.

"Really, it's fine," Sakura insists after setting me down next to her. She runs a hand through her hair and smiles. "You weren't heavy at all - I bet you weren't eating properly while you were away."

I shrug, my cheeks hot. Naruto's looking at me with envy, and Sasuke's just smirking. I want to punch them both.

Kakashi calls down again from a higher point. "Sakura, come up here with me. Sasuke, go down and try to help Akihiko stay balanced."

In a flash of color, they trade places, and Sasuke is next to me. His smirk doesn't leave his face.

"Shut up," I say, despite him not having said anything, and he puts an arm around my shoulders. Before I can ask what the hell he's doing that for, he leans down to pull my legs up, putting me in the same position that Sakura had me in.

"She's right," he remarks calmly. "You are light."

The noise I make is almost inhuman. I try to punch him, but he dodges.

"Calm down, Akihiko. I'm not going to drop you." He sets me back on my feet and I push him as hard as I can. He doesn't move an inch.

I'm about to punch him firmly in the solar plexus when I hear Sakura's voice from high above us. "Aki! Come up here!"

"Looks like I'll have to do it again," Sasuke says with a playful smile. He picks me up again, and before I can object, he's brought me to the very top of a tree. I don't want to look down, but I have to, and I cling to Sasuke fearfully when I see how high up we actually are.

"Dumbass, as if I'd drop you now."

I ignore his jab at me and look to Sakura. She gives me a small smile and leans forward to call out to Naruto.

"Naruto, point out where we're going!" she commands, and he does what she says. He gestures to a general area, and I can barely make out a river and a hut-looking thing beside it. It looks like it's several kilometers away.

Sasuke yells out an agreement, and soon I'm back on solid ground, thank God. I walk away from Sasuke, brushing past without thanking him for taking me up there. I instead stand between Sakura and Naruto, who are happy to talk to me.

I find myself wondering about Sasuke. He acts reserved around others, but he was teasing me just now, wasn't he? I can't help but think that he and I used to be good friends before I left. I almost feel bad for refusing to thank him.

My musings are cut short when a kunai flies past my head and embeds itself into the tree to my left.

"So you are alive," says an unfamiliar voice, and I instinctively get into a defensive stance. "I'm not going to hurt you. There's a message on that kunai, unroll it and read it. Oh, and be careful when going home. There are lots of people who would love to get their hands on someone as cute as you. Goodbye."

Sasuke flings a shuriken into the woods to the right, and the voice just laughs, the sound fading as whoever was talking presumably goes away.

"What the hell was that?" I ask, unsettled.

Sakura looks to the kunai in the tree, then to Naruto. He nods, and creates a clone of himself. I'm even more confused, but Sakura puts a finger to her lips and keeps her eyes on the clone. He walks up to the kunai, opens the message, and then brings the slip of paper over here. "Empty."

I take the paper and bring it close to my face. Suddenly, a horrible headache sends me to my knees. Tears form in my eyes, and I drop the "message". It wasn't words that came off of it - it was a very faint smell. A smell of clay, flowers, and something sweet that I can't place. My head starts to pound, and I can't hear anything but my own heavy breathing. I feel a strong pair of arms pick me up, and then nothing.


	2. No Place Like Home

"Well, this is... unexpected."

"Sakura, did you know about this?!"

"I did, but he told me not to tell you all."

"He's awake. You all be quiet."

I open my eyes slowly and go to sit up, but Sakura gently pushes me back down. "Stay still," she says calmly.

"What's going on?" I ask, confused.

Naruto glares at me. "You lied to us."

"He did not," sighs Sakura angrily. "He and I have talked about this. He's been keeping it a secret because he doesn't want to be looked down upon."

I sigh. "Oh, it's about that."

"You're a girl!" Naruto exclaims. "No wonder you never wanted to do the sexy jutsu!"

I avoid his eyes. "I'm not a girl, and I have no idea what a jutsu even is."

"Not a girl? But you have-" I hear a crunch, and Naruto is on the ground via a punch from Sasuke.

"If he says he's a boy," Sasuke says plainly, "Then he's a boy."

Naruto frowns, clutching his nose. "Okay."

"More than that, are you feeling alright?" asks Kakashi. "We disposed of the message, but you were out for a good couple of hours with a fever. Hence the lack of a shirt."

I shrug. "I'm fine. Where is it anyways? My shirt, that is."

"Sakura had me wash it." Sasuke crosses his arms and looks out the window. I'm suddenly aware that we're in a wooden hut, with open windows and a simple door.

"Is this my home?" I ask quietly.

Sakura brushes some hair out of my eyes. "Yes."

I look up at her, tears threatening to come. "I don't remember it."

"That's alright," Naruto says, walking over to stand beside Sakura. His nose is still a little bit bloody from Sasuke's punch. "We only came here to find more clues about you! Not to force you to come back to living like this."

I nod, rubbing my eyes. Sakura asks Sasuke to go get my shirt, which is drying outside. He brings it in and looks away as I get dressed.

"Now that I think of it," I say as I walk out of the hut to look at my surroundings. "I have no idea what I look like."

Kakashi claps a hand onto my shoulder, making me almost jump out of my skin. "Let's go look at the river, then!"

"Aren't we supposed to be looking for clues about my past?" I ask suspiciously.

He pulls his hand back. "Maybe if you know what you look like, you'll remember something."

I shrug and call for the trio to come with Kakashi and I. Sakura says she'll stay back to look and clean up a bit, and Naruto says he'll stay with her "just in case". I roll my eyes at this. I know he just wants to be alone with her.

Sasuke, Kakashi, and I set off down the trail to try to find the river. The forest air is clean-smelling and nice, but it's a bit chilly. I shiver and notice Kakashi nudge Sasuke towards me. Sasuke glares at his leader, but puts an arm begrudgingly around me.

"I'm fine," I insist, but Sasuke pokes my cheek with his free hand.

"You're cold."

I frown at him. "Am not!"

"You were shivering."

I'm about to reply when we reach the river. I bite my lip nervously, looking from Sasuke to Kakashi. "If something happens like with the note..."

"I've carried you before, I don't mind doing it again," says Kakashi.

I sigh, but step forward. I take a deep breath, and look at my reflection in the river.

Brown eyes, slanted slightly upward at the outer corners. Short, messy dark green hair. I'm unhealthily thin, and my skin is pale with a pink undertone. Not exaclty how I pictured myself, but oh well. I turn back to the two boys.

"Alright. Nothing new."

When we return to the hut, Sakura looks pleased. She holds out a thick textbook.

"What's special about that?" asks Sasuke, a confused look on his face. "Every student at the Academy gets it."

Sakura smiles and I take the book cautiously. "Open it," she says. I obey, and as I turn the pages, I see tiny notes scribbled on every page. My eyes well up with tears again, and I can't help but let a couple fall. I sit on the bed, starting to read the little notes.

Some are simple reminders, like "practice more", but some are more complicated, like "use hare-boar-ram instead - it'll make things go faster". I go through it rather quickly, and as I'm about to reach the middle of the book, I feel a slight thickness in the next page. I notice that it's not a single page, but two stuck together, and I gently peel them apart. Sakura gasps.

"It's a pressed lilac," she says in wonder. I pick it up gently, smelling it. It has a faint scent that matches the note.

I set it back down, and close the book. "This is amazing," I say, trying not to cry. "I can't believe I was like this."

"I can," says Sasuke with a soft smile. "You were always competing with Sakura and I. I'm amazed you didn't want to graduate before us."

Sakura looks over to Sasuke. "You sure sound sentimental," she teases. He immediately sets his face back to a neutral expression and crosses his arms.

"Shut up. You're annoying me."

I stand up and hug Sakura tightly. She makes a startled sound, then hugs me back. "Warn me next time, OK?" she says lightly.

"Sorry," I reply, embarrassed. I pull away and look to Kakashi. "Well, I think we have everything of value from in here."

He nods. "Let's go, then."

I hold the textbook tightly to my chest and leave the hut with the others. "We're pretty far away from Konoha," I remark.

"Not really, it's only a few kilometers," replies Sasuke with a shrug. He's in front of me, trying to stay a step ahead of Naruto. It's not really working, and soon they're racing again.

I slow down a bit until I'm at an even pace with Sakura. "So, Sakura."

"What's up, Aki?" she asks curiously. "Is something wrong?"

I smile at her mischieviously. "What's up with you and Naruto?"

"Me and- me and Naruto?" stutters Sakura. "I mean, he and Sasuke are my best friends, but... there isn't anything more."

"Are you sure?" I press. "He seems to really like you."

She puts a finger to her chin inquisitively. "Hmm... well, I never really have thought about it until now. I don't really feel anything for him other than brother-sister stuff, though."

"Boring!" I sigh.

Sakura leans forward, looking up at me playfully. "What about you and Sasuke, though? You and him really seem to have something."

A blush creeps onto my cheeks. "I don't know him very well. I don't know any of you very well."

"You and him were practically inseperable before you left. You, him, and Naruto. The three stooges!" Sakura smiles at the memory. "After Sasuke was attacked in the chunin exams... I think you and Naruto brought his smile back!"

I look at her curiously. "Chunin exams?"

"Oh, I sometimes forget that you lost your memory. Umm, in this village, there are several ranks of ninja. When you graduate from the Academy, you become a genin. This is the most common sort of ninja. Then, you can be recommended by your team leader to take the chunin exams, which then can promote you to chunin, the next rank. You can become a team leader if you're a chunin! Naruto, Sasuke, and I are all chunin. Kakashi-sensei is a jonin, and I'm not quite sure how one becomes a jonin, but it's higher up than a chunin. Finally, there's the Kage, who oversees the entire village. That's Lady Tsunade. You have to be extremely powerful to be a Kage!" Sakura catches her breath, a smile still on her face.

I think for a moment. I graduated from the academy, so I must be at least a genin. I'm the same age as Sakura and Sasuke and Naruto, so... "Do you think I might be a chunin?" I wonder aloud.

"I'll ask Kakashi-sensei," Sakura replies. "Do you want to try to catch up to them?"

I shrug. "I'm OK with not knowing right now."

We settle into a comfortable silence, our hands brushing every once in a while. I feel calm around Sakura. She's gentle, kind, and a good person.

"You're going to be a good wife one day," I say.

Sakura turns bright red. "You think so?" she asks sheepishly.

"Yeah. You'll make some lucky person really happy."

The pink-haired girl laughs nervously. "I certainly hope I will."

I go quiet again, and she follows suit. Soon, we're back at the main gates of Konoha. The boys are waiting for us, Sasuke looking bored and Naruto looking worried.

"There you two are!" the blonde exclaims. "We-" Sasuke glares at Naruto, who takes the hint. "-I mean, I was worried!"

I look to Sakura, and we both burst out laughing. "You're ridiculous, Naruto," I tease.

"We wouldn't get hurt!" Sakura adds.

Naruto pouts, and Sakura touches his arm. "Lighten up," she says brightly. "Let's go home."

There's a sinking feeling in my stomach. I don't have a home. Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi leave, exchanging goodbyes as if it's normal to leave your comerade alone with nowhere to go. I feel tears well up again, and start to turn around when I catch a glimpse of Sasuke extending his hand to me. He's looking at the ground, a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Oy. Akihiko." His tone is carefully controlled. "You coming?"

It takes me a minute to realize what he's saying, but when I do, I can't stop myself from crying. Goddamn it, I'm such an idiot.

"Dumbass," Sasuke says, taking my hand and pulling me along. I wipe my eyes with my free hand and follow him silently.

We weave through streets and forested areas, Sasuke never letting go of my hand. The sun has almost disappeared below the clouds by the time Sasuke stops walking.

"We're home," he says quietly.

I look up, and there's a mansion in front of me. "Whoa," is all I can say. Sasuke makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a snort, then covers it up with a cough.

"Come in, and don't forget to take off your shoes."

I obey him, looking around. It's a simple home, but it's very pretty. It has two stories, and appears extremely big from the outside. I can't help but wonder if anyone else lives here, or if it's just him.

Sasuke turns to me with an unreadable expression. "I didn't expect to have a guest over today, so please pardon the mess."

"Oh, no, it's not messy," I reply automatically. "Thank you for inviting me to come."

He goes to a staircase. "Follow me, please."

I follow him up the stairs, down a hallway, and into a room. He turns to face me. "Is this alright?" he asks, tone sounding more nervous than usual.

"It's fine, but..." I take a deep breath. "Sasuke, you're hiding something, aren't you?

"Huh?" He's taken aback but covers it up. "I don't know what you mean."

I sigh. "You're speaking really formally. You're not like this usually."

"It's nothing!" he says defensively. I give him a disbelieving look and he puts his hands up in surrender. "Fine. I haven't had anyone come to live with me for a really long time."

"What about your family?" I ask. The look that comes across his face is pure pain, and I instantly regret asking.

He takes a shaky breath. "I don't have any."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," I try to amend.

He waves his hand. "No, everyone else knows as well. You deserve to know, too. After all, you're the one I came to the day after it happened."

I start to reach out to touch his arm, but force myself to stop. "What happened?"

"I don't know who, but someone killed my family. Every single person was gone, except for my big brother and I. Itachi... he set out for revenge that night, following the attacker after he made sure I was safely hidden. He told me to wait for him to return, but he never did." Sasuke's visibly fighting tears now, and his expression hardens. "I'm certain that if it weren't for Itachi, I'd be the one out getting revenge right now. But I love him, so I'm going to keep waiting."

I nod, allowing myself to take his right hand in my own. "I won't let you be alone again."

"Stupid," he laughs quietly, looking down at me through teary eyes. "You did let me be alone, though. You left for God knows why, and when you returned, you were almost dead."

I bite my lip. "I'm sorry. I'm sure that I didn't want to leave."

"I never knew what you were thinking," he says solemnly, tears gone. "You were always a mystery to me. A puzzle."

He coughs, and the tension breaks. I let go of his hand, and he rubs the back of his head awkwardly.

"Let me make the bed for you."

I shake my head. "Just show me where the linens are, and I'll make it myself."

"Are you sure?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yeah," I answer. "Go to bed."

Sasuke shows me the linen closet in my room, gives me a pair of pajamas, and then bids me goodnight. As I'm making the bed, I notice something beneath the mattress. Rather than call Sasuke to check it out, I pull out a photograph. It's of a young Sasuke with a boy who looks a lot like him. I'm guessing that the boy beside him is Itachi.

Making a mental note to tell Sasuke about it in the morning, I set the photograph on the bedside table. I finish making the bed quickly and put on the pajamas Sasuke gave me. Under the covers, I can't help but wonder about my past. Who was I to Sasuke? He treats me differently than he treats Naruto and Sakura, despite me having lost my memory.

I rub my face against my pillow, and allow a blush to cover my cheeks. I kind of like the special attention. He's handsome, and kind, and...

No! I can't let myself think like this! He's stuck on an Akihiko that I don't know, and I can't take advantage of his wanting me to be that Akihiko. I groan softly, and drift off to sleep with Sasuke in my mind.


	3. Me For Me

"Hey," I feel a hand frantically shaking my shoulder. "Aki, please wake up!"

I open my eyes and sit up, catching Sasuke by surprise. He's breathing rapidly, one hand over his mouth and the other still barely touching my shoulder. Tears are in his eyes, and I can tell he's panicking.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" I ask gently.

He shakes his head. "Nightmare, I'm sorry, I was just- I was scared."

"It's alright. What time is it?"

"It's, um, it's about 2 AM. Again, I'm sorry."

I stand up, pulling his hand away from his mouth. His breath catches, and I lean my forehead against his. My eyes close, and I try to keep my breathing at a steady pace. Sasuke doesn't fight it, instead taking each of my hands in his own and tightly interlacing our fingers. After a minute or two, he calms down completely, and I pull away.

"Better?" My voice is soft, and I don't let go of his hands.

He relaxes his grip. "Yeah. I get these a lot," he laughs bitterly. "I just don't usually have someone in the house to annoy."

"Hey, it's not annoying," I reply. "Nightmares happen."

He starts to walk away, letting his hands slip away from mine. He stops. "Please don't tell the others about this."

"It's our secret."

He breathes a heavy sigh of relief, and leaves the room. I lay back down, turning off the lamp Sasuke had turned on when he came in. I remember the photograph of him and Itachi that I found, and decide to give it to him before he goes back to sleep. I stand up, stretching and turning the lamp back on.

I pick up the photograph and walk across the hallway, knocking softly on the door to Sasuke's room. He tells me to enter and I do.

His room is nothing that special. There's a big bed with a lot of pillows, and a bedside table to the left of it with a lamp similar to the one in my room. It's on, and in its light I see Sasuke reading a book. There's a desk piled high with books to the left of the bedside table, and there's two bookshelves filled completely with books underneath the window on the wall to the right of Sasuke's bed. Across from his bed, he has a balcony, or so I assume from the glass doors. I can't see outside. This is all from my perspective, so from his perspective, the window is to the left and the bedside table is to the right.

"I found something making my bed tonight," I say casually, sitting beside Sasuke on the bed. He puts down his book, sitting up and moving closer to me.

"What is it?" he asks somewhat apprehensively.

I show him the photo, and his eyes widen. "Is this Itachi?"

"It is," he replies, unable to say anything else.

I hand it to him and stand up. "We can find a frame for it tomorrow. But for now, keep it safe."

"Alright," he says. "Um, Akihiko..."

I stop walking to the door and turn. "What's up, Sasuke?"

"Thank you. For everything."

I smile at him, and he turns away with a blush. "I know I'm not who you remember, but I will try my best to care for you just as much as the first Akihiko did. That's a promise."

\---

It's morning, and all I can think about is how goddamn loud the alarm clocks are in this house. Sasuke woke me up again, this time at 6:56 AM exactly, and explained that as part of his morning training, he put an alarm clock in every room set to go off at exactly the same time. It would start at 6:57 AM, and he would have to stop them all before 7. This may not sound difficult, but there are a LOT of rooms. At least 20.

Finally, silence reigns, and I'm guessing it's 7 now. I'm at the kitchen table, fully dressed, head on my arms and trying to sleep to no avail. Sasuke taps me on the shoulder, and when I pull my head up he pokes my cheek.

"Come on, look awake, we're meeting the others for training."

I nod and stand up, yawning. Sasuke gives me a small smile.

We head to the training grounds in a comfortable silence. We watch the sun rise together, something that I haven't seen before. It's cold outside, but it warms up as the sun climbs through the sky. When we get to the training grounds, it's pleasantly warm.

"He's really back?" I hear a voice ask. It's soft and feminine, with a note of hope in it.

"Yeah!" Naruto replies. "But he doesn't remember anything about anyone, so you're going to have to reintroduce yourself."

"Troublesome," a masculine voice replies.

Sasuke and I enter a clearing, and I gasp when I see how many people there are. 9 others? I turn to glare at Sasuke, who puts his hands up in surrender. He didn't know about this either.

"What are you all doing here?" he asks evenly. "It's odd to see everyone all together without a team leader in sight. Is something wrong?"

A shy-looking girl with long black hair and silver eyes presses her index fingers together. "No, we just really wanted to see Akihiko..."

"Oh," I say with a smile, "It's nice to meet you, then."

The girl's eyes widen. "Ah, it's nice to meet you, too. I'm Hinata Hyuga."

"I'm Kiba Inuzuka," says a cheerful-looking boy with purple triangles on his cheeks. "That one-" He points to a boy who's almost completely covered in clothing, save for his ears. "-is Shino Aburame." Shino bows slightly.

A girl with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail comes over to me aggressively, putting a hand on each of my shoulders and staring me in the eyes.

"Ino, what are you doing?" I hear Sakura demand angrily from behind me.

"I'm trying to figure out if he's changed or not physically!"

I push the girl off of me and hide behind Shino, who I think is my best bet right now. "Leave me alone!" I demand from behind his back.

"Good instincts," Sasuke remarks, to which I stick out my tongue.

Ino laughs. "His personality has definitely changed, that's for sure. Anyways. As you heard, I'm Ino. My teammates are Chouji and Shikamaru!"

"I'm Shikamaru," says a bored-looking boy with his hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. He points to a chubby guy who's eating potato chips. "That's Chouji."

A very unique-looking boy steps forward. "Hello, my dear friend! I'm Rock Lee! It's so unfortunate that you do not remember me, but I will help you regain your memories!"

"I'm Tenten," says a pretty girl with brown hair pulled into buns. "That's Neji." She pulls a boy who looks a lot like Hinata forward.

He looks at the ground, then raises his eyes to meet mine. "It's nice to have you back."

"Ah..." I'm not sure how to respond. "Thank you."

Neji turns to Sasuke. "He's been like this for how long?"

"Well, he was gone for two years and passed out for a week, but as far as 'this' Akihiko goes, it's been around 3 weeks at most."

"Where's he staying?" asks Ino suspiciously. "I hope one of you three-" She gestures to Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. "-are taking care of him."

Sasuke coughs nervously, and Ino turns to him. "Well?"

"He's staying with Sasuke for now," Sakura says calmly. "It's just the easiest for all of us, since I have my own family and I don't think anyone could handle living with Naruto."

No one but me notices a slight blush on Hinata's cheeks at the mention of someone living with Naruto. Interesting.

"Enough small talk," Sasuke says. "Who wants to test Akihiko's abilities in ninjutsu?"

Naruto raises his hand, and Sakura groans. "What could you possibly do to test him?"

"Transform! Sexy jutsu!" he cheers, both answering her and setting off his own technique. A naked girl with pigtails and Naruto's whiskers blows a kiss to me in Naruto's place.

I burst out laughing and double over, clutching my sides. "Jesus Christ, Naruto, you're stupid!"

"Huuuh?" Naruto pouts, turning back to his normal self. "I thought you of all people would fall for it!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask between giggles.

Naruto gets an idea, and grabs Sasuke. "Transform! Sexy boy-on-boy jutsu!"

I look up and fall backwards, covering my mouth. Sasuke and Naruto are naked, looking into each other's eyes. I stand up quickly, whacking Naruto hard on the head. He transforms back, and so does Sasuke.

"Naruto, I swear to God that if you do that again I'll kill you." Sasuke's cheeks are bright red, and I can't help but grin at him.

Sakura sighs deeply. "I thought we were going to help Aki, not ruin his eyes."

"Right," replies Sasuke embarrassedly. "Akihiko. Let's start with a basic technique. Substitution jutsu."

He spreads his arms wide, looking at me in the eyes. "Hit me."

"Huh?"

"Just do it."

I pull back my hand, and swing it forward to slap him. My hand collects with something hard. It takes a second, but I realize I've hit a log.

"Amazing," I say in awe. "Am I going to be able to do that?"

Sasuke smiles a little bit. "Of course. I'm sure the techniques you learned are still in you, you just need a push to be able to do it."

"Alright, then," I reply. "How do I do this?"

He explains to me the ins and outs of the technique, and I attempt it a few times. I get it right after only 4 tries, and even Ino gives me a proud smile for that.

"You were a genius," she remarks, "It'd be stupid to think that you didn't retain any of it."

I practice several other techniques, my favorite being the transformation jutsu. I repeatedly transform into Naruto, getting a part of his face wrong each time on purpose.

"My nose - no, my eye color - no, now I look like Lee!"

I transform back with a grin. "I'm doing it on purpose, stupid."

"Whatever," he replies cheerfully. "I'm glad you're good at it."

Next, it's taijutsu. "There aren't really any 'simple' genjutsu techniques," Neji explains, "So we're just going to test your taijutsu with Lee."

Lee may look odd, but I can tell he's strong. It kind of worries me. I put my right foot behind me, leaning on it, with my hands in a defensive position.

"Lee," Tenten says in a commanding tone. "Basic taijutsu only. Don't hurt him."

Lee waves his hand. "I would never hurt someone dear to me!"

At Naruto's "Start!", I let instinct take over. I shift my weight to my front foot, quickly twisting to make my right leg collide with Lee's left side. He makes a surprised noise and grabs my ankle right before it hits him, pushing my leg down gently. I move back to a defensive position.

"Not bad," Kiba comments. "He almost got Lee."

I ignore the others talking and focus on my opponent. I almost miss his hand coming for my forehead and bend backwards to dodge. I push myself back up and grit my teeth. I'm a lot weaker than I thought. How irritating.

My mind goes blank and I allow myself to get lost in the mock-battle. I manage to dodge a good amount of Lee's attacks, but he still hits me every now and then. I can't seem to land a single hit on him, though.

After a hit to my chest leaves me winded, I think of a strategy. It just might work. I go back to my first position, and shift my weight to my left leg. Lee notices and gets into a defensive position. I hop a few centimeters forward, land on my right foot, twist, and deliver a blow to Lee's midsection that makes him go off-balance. I take my chance and push him as hard as I can.

Lee falls to the ground, surprised but grinning. "I think we should end it here," he says. "I have a good idea of your skill."

I extend a hand to him, a smile on my face as well. "Alright."

It's then that I notice that everyone else is silent. Lee pulls himself up and dusts off his jumpsuit.

"Something wrong?" he asks the crowd of teenagers, confused.

Neji's the first to speak. "He hit you."

"We were sparring, that's kind of the point."

Kiba shakes his head. "No, he means that Aki was able to land a hit on YOU, someone who's extremely talented at taijutsu."

"Well, I wasn't really going all out," Lee shrugs. "I'm not bothered!"

I fidget, pulling at the hem of my shirt. It's uncomfortable with everyone staring at me.

Sakura touches my arm lightly. "We're not angry, we're just surprised. You always were good at everything."

"Oh," I reply, feeling my heart grow heavy. It's because they didn't expect me to be as good as their Akihiko.

"Alright, so we have a good idea of Aki's strengths," Naruto starts, and I tune out the rest of what he says.

In these past few weeks, I've continued to forget that I'm not who they remember me as. To me, I'm making new friends, and having new experiences. It's fun for me. To them, though...

I walk away from the group silently, going through the forest and ignoring their calls for me to come back. I walk, and then I jog, and then I'm sprinting. I don't know where I'm going, I just know I want to be alone. I enter a clearing with training grounds similar to the one I was just at, and I see someone kneeling in front of a large rock across the river. I stop. Is that Kakashi?

He's saying things I can't make out, his voice soft and broken-sounding. I can't decide whether to leave him be or to join him, but I'm answered soon enough.

"Akihiko. Come on over here."

I obey him, crossing the river and sitting next to him in front of the rock. I see many names on it, some I can't read and none that I recognize.

"What's this?" I ask quietly.

"A memorial."

I look around at the forest surrounding the clearing. "It's quiet here."

"It always is."

Kakashi and I sit in silence for a little while, and then he turns to look at me.

"So, what brought you here?" he asks. "I know you're not here to pay your respects to a fallen comrade, although I can show you where their names are."

I sigh and put my head in my hands. "I don't know why, but I feel horrible. Everyone wants to know where I was and what I'm doing back, but I can't answer them. I don't know anything about myself, and while I'm not expected to answer their questions, it still hurts."

Kakashi doesn't reply for a good few minutes, but when he does, his voice is gentle. "When you showed up in that hospital bed the day the ANBU found you, I didn't recognize you."

I look up at him, waiting for him to continue. He takes a deep breath.

"You were deathly thin, with your hair cut all choppy and your face pale. Sakura was the one who knew it was you. She had come into the hospital to do medical training, and she told me as soon as she could that she had found you. She cried from happiness. In that moment, she didn't care who you had turned into, where you were, she was just happy you were home and you were safe."

He looks up at the sky. "Then, there was Naruto. When he found out you were back, he was furious. 'Where has he been?' he asked, over and over. No one knew. He tried to understand your motivation for leaving, but he couldn't. So he locked it up inside of him and forced a smile for you."

"Lastly, Sasuke. You and him were especially close before you left, and when you had left, you had broken something inside of him. It took him a very long time to smile again, and when you showed up and the medic-nins were unsure if you would live, he broke again. He was so scared of losing you for good. He's lost so much in his life, Akihiko. But you're back, so he wants to make sure you never leave again. Even if it means keeping you in his home."

I begin to understand what he's saying. "They want an explanation because they care for me, not because they don't like who I am right now."

"Well, that's one way of interpreting it," replies Kakashi with a shrug. "I just wanted to tell you my students' reactions to your return and see what you got from it."

I stand, feeling shame flow through me. "I'm going to go apologize."

"Do what you wish. But remember, Akihiko," he says, touching my hand. "I will always listen. You are not officially my responsibility, but I have made you one. I won't let let you go, either. You are a precious ally, so keep your chin up."

I nod, pulling away. "I'll see you later, Kakashi-sensei."

I don't see it, but I can tell he's smiling when I leave the clearing.


	4. Boy Trouble In The Bath

As I enter the training area again, only Hinata is there. When she sees me, she breathes a sigh of relief.

"The others are out looking for you," she says softly. "We all got worried. I decided to stay here in case you came back - which you did."

I clasp my hands together, looking away from her in shame. "I'm very, very sorry for troubling you."

"No, it's alright. I can kind of see what happened," she replies. "Sakura feels really bad for making you upset, Sasuke told her that you don't want to be talked about in the past tense. Is he correct?"

I nod sheepishly. "I feel kind of less real that way, stupid as it may sound."

"Not stupid at all. I can see how losing your memory can make you feel that way."

I look up to meet her eyes. Hinata is pretty in a way that most girls could only strive to be, a cool beauty with silver eyes and long black hair. I think back to her blushing at the mention of Naruto.

"Do you like Naruto?" I ask bluntly.

Hinata turns a delicate shade of pink. "Um, I think everyone does to some extent, he's a good person."

"That's not what I meant. Do you have a crush on Naruto?"

Before Hinata can respond, I'm tackled in a hug from the boy I just mentioned.

"You jerk!" he exclaims. "Don't scare me like that!"

I'm suddenly aware of how heavy he is. "Jeez, Naruto, get off. I'll apologize properly once I'm up."

"I don't want an apology!" he says firmly, ignoring my hands trying to push his face away from my own. "Just don't do that again!"

"Fine, fine, just get OFF!" I give him another push and he flies off of me. Tenten and Neji are standing to either side of me, holding up Naruto by his arms.

I stand up and realize that everyone's back. I bow deeply. "I'm sorry for troubling you all. I won't run off again."

"No," says Ino quietly. "We're sorry for pushing you to that point."

Sakura takes my hand and pulls me up to face her. "We were so caught up in trying to help that we didn't realize we were only making things worse," she says regretfully.

"It's fine, it really is." I let go of her hand, embarrassed. This really isn't their fault. "My selfishness needs to be worked on."

Sasuke pokes my cheek from the left. "You need to be more selfish, if anything."

"True, you just let us do whatever we wanted!" Kiba adds. Chouji nods.

Shikamaru rubs the back of his neck, not bothering to meet my eyes when he speaks. "It is a bit of a pain to resist, though, so I get it."

"You're really fun to spar with," says Rock Lee with a big smile. "I want to help you get better!"

Finally, Shino speaks. "This is all because we care for you, you know."

I look around at my friends. From the three I've known since I woke up, to the new companions I just met, to Kakashi-sensei in the memorial area, I know they all care for me in their own way.

I smile, and bow again. "From now on, then, I'll be in your care. I'm excited to work with you all. Thank you for believing in me."

"We'll do our best!" Sakura says, and in that moment, I've never felt happier.

I stand up straight, and look at Sasuke. "Please teach me all the ninjutsu that I need to know."

"Might as well," he says, hiding his happiness poorly behind a bored exterior. "Let's start with D-Ranks."

\---

It's morning, and this time, I'm the one running around the house to turn off the alarm clocks. It's Saturday, and I intend to rest, damn it! The clock reads 6:50, so I think I have plenty of time to diffuse the alarm clocks.

'Think' being the key word.

"Why is your house so goddamn big?" I whine over breakfast with Sasuke. "More than that, why do you hide some alarm clocks under beds and at the top of closets?"

Sasuke shrugs, eating his eggs with an expression of careful indifference. I know he's laughing on the inside. "It's a big house because lots of people used to live here. I hide the alarm clocks for a challenge."

"Sasuke," I groan, slamming my head onto the table and narrowly avoiding my plate, "if I didn't know better, I'd say that you're a masochist."

He nearly spits out the bite of egg in his mouth. He swallows hard and glares at me. "You're just lazy!"

"Masochist Sasuke," I murmur, ignoring his quip. "Masuke!"

"Call me that again and I will slaughter you."

"Ma~su~ke!"

I grin as he flings a piece of bacon at my head. I catch it with my chopsticks and eat it. "Thanks for the food!"

"You're infuriating."

I stand up, gathering my dishes and starting to wash them. He made breakfast, so I do the dishes. That's how it is for us.

Sasuke is next to me in a couple of minutes, sliding his dishes into the soapy water of the sink. "You know," he says nonchalantly. "I think Kakashi's considering asking Lady Tsunade if he can add you to our team."

"He's what?" I ask, confused as all hell. "Is that even possible?"

"Not officially," he replies. "But Kakashi wants you to have some form of income. Missions are a good way to earn money, and it's nearly impossible for a lone ninja below the rank of jonin to go on missions."

"That reminds me," I muse, "I was wondering if I'm a chunin or not. I never actually found out about that."

Sasuke crosses his arms in thought. "Hm. I'm guessing you probably are, especially since you're so good with taijutsu. We'll have to ask Kakashi about that, though."

"Alright, then."

Sasuke goes upstairs to get ready for training. I finish the dishes and walk upstairs. As I pass the top step, I hear soft grunting coming from Sasuke's room.

"Goddamn it," I sigh to myself. "I'm going to kill him."

Then it gets worse. I hear my name. "Aki-ah, Akihi-Akihiko!"

Jesus Christ. I'm not going to allow this! Not in the house where I live! "Pardon the intrusion!" I kick open Sasuke's door angrily, and see him in a compromising position. Not quite the one I was expecting, though.

"Akihiko! Help me!" he groans from the headlock Kakashi-sensei has him in.

I make a frustrated noise, and hit the team leader as hard as I can on the back of the head. "What the hell is this?" I demand.

Kakashi simply laughs. "I wanted to know what kind of noises my cute student would make if I attacked him," he replies cheerfully.

"You asshole," Sasuke replies, massaging his neck. "Was that really necessary?"

"It certainly got Akihiko," Kakashi says with a knowing look towards me.

My cheeks heat up. "I was about to kill Sasuke, for your information, but you were doing it first."

"You and I both know that if he really was - ahem - saying your name, he would be calling you Aki."

Sasuke.exe stops working entirely, and the poor guy turns redder than a tomato.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but leave me out of it!" I cross my arms and look away, fully aware that I'm almost as red as Sasuke.

Kakashi pulls Sasuke off the bed by the collar of his shirt. "It's time for training!" he exclaims happily.

"Whatever," I say back.

Rock Lee, Neji, Tenten, Sakura, Hinata, and Naruto are waiting for us at the training grounds. Sakura takes a look at Sasuke's disheveled hair and clothes and smirks at me.

"I had nothing to do with that," I remark truthfully. She rolls her eyes.

"We decided to draw lots to spar today, since the others aren't here," Neji explains. "I'm sparring Tenten, Rock Lee and Sakura are sparring, Hinata and Naruto are sparring, and you two got unlucky. Or lucky, depending on how this morning went."

I'm about to retort when Sasuke takes my arm and pulls me to the side. The others take the hint and pair off to start sparring.

"Don't go easy on me," says Sasuke calmly.

"I never will," I reply. "You're the one who shouldn't go easy on me, what with this morning and all."

"Shut up!"

"Masuke."

Sasuke gets into a defensive position, and I follow. He sets the pace with his first move, a sweep kick that I jump over easily.

"You're going easy on me," I complain.

He grins. "Think again."

In a split second, his smiling form is replaced with a log and I feel a kick firmly on my back. I stumble forward, angry with myself.

"It's on!"

We trade kicks, punches, and hits. Soon, we're both winded, and I get ready for my last move. I make like I'm going to perform the trick I did on Lee, but do the original move instead. It doesn't work. He catches my ankle and throws me to the ground, straddling my stomach and pulling back his hand like he's going to punch me. I brace for impact, but it doesn't come.

Instead, he pokes my cheek. "I win."

"Damn you," I sigh, but accept defeat.

Sasuke stands and pulls me to my feet. "Good match."

I nod my agreement with a smile. Sakura is trying to convince Lee to hit her properly, but he refuses each time. Hinata and Naruto are fighting on equal grounds, and Neji and Tenten's moves are a whirlwind of movement and kunai. I feel a gloved hand ruffle my hair.

"Hey, Kakashi," I say, looking up at the man leaning above me.

"What's up?"

"Am I a genin or a chunin?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does!"

Kakashi sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'd have to guess chunin, but I'm not sure."

"Were my teammates chunin?" I ask. From what Sakura has told me, it's possible to be a chunin when your teammates are not, but I'm curious anyways.

"I think so, yes."

"That's all. Thank you!" I turn to Sasuke, catching a glimpse of a fond smile on his face before he forces it back to a neutral expression.

"What?" he asks.

I poke his cheek. "You're a lot more handsome when you smile."

"Shut up."

We watch the rest of the matches end, starting with Sakura forfeiting to Lee. Hinata wins against Naruto, who congratulates her, and Neji wins against Tenten, although they both look very out-of-breath and bruised.

"Let's go to a restaurant!" Naruto cheers.

I look up at Sasuke with puppy eyes, and he sighs. "Alright, then."

"Can we go get cleaned up first, though?" asks Tenten, who looks sweaty and uncomfortable.

"Of course," Sakura says. "In fact, why don't we invite the others as well?"

Hinata smiles pleasantly. "I'll tell Kiba and Shino! They were training all day yesterday, so they're resting right now."

Sasuke and I walk home together in silence as usual. We both enjoy the background noise of Konoha a lot, Sasuke more than me sometimes. Every once in a while, he'll close his eyes for a few minutes and let me lead him by the hand through the streets so that he can absorb the sounds.

"We're home," I say, and he opens his eyes. We step inside, taking off our shoes.

Sasuke offers me the bath first, to which I gratefully accept. While waiting for it to heat up, I sit on my bed, looking out the window. It's been almost a month since I've been awake, and every day is as precious as the one before it. Sasuke and I get along very well, and I feel like I'm getting closer to everyone. I smile at the sky, and walk to the bathroom.

I'm in the middle of a very relaxing bath when I hear the bathroom door open. "I'm in here," I say loudly, hoping to deter Sasuke from entering.

"That's good," says Sakura as she steps into view. "I was hoping to catch you alone while the boys are talking downstairs."

I pull my knees to my chest instinctively and wrap my arms around them. "Sakura, what are you doing here?"

"I'm not here to peep," she says with annoyance.

I sigh and put down my knees. "Sorry, it's automatic."

"I understand."

"Why are you here, though?" I ask curiously.

Sakura sits beside the bath and leans her head on the edge of it, staring at the wall. Her hair is slightly damp, and she smells flowery.

"I want to talk about boys."

"Huh?" I look at her. She's completely serious.

"Lee refused to hit me the entire match I had with him due to some misplaced need to protect me. It's irritating!" She slams her fist on the ground, the sound echoing throughout the bathroom. "I wish he would understand that I'm capable enough to fight for myself."

I look at my hands awkwardly. "I dunno, guys are stupid. Myself included."

"It's irritating!" Sakura repeats. "I'm just as strong as the others. I worked my ass off for the second round of chunin exams! But of course, I got no recognition of my improvement. It's only the boys that matter, it feels like."

I cautiously pull my hand out of the water and stroke her hair. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I don't know what to tell you."

"It's enough for you to listen," she says quietly. "I sometimes feel like you're my only ally. Naruto may like me, but I don't think he really knows me. Sasuke and I are definitely friends, but he doesn't pay that much attention to me. I used to have the biggest crush on him, actually, but all he did was tell me I'm annoying and ignore me." Sakura laughs, her voice starting to shake. "Why don't boys understand? Maybe it's better if I just go with what they say."

I shake my head, then realize she can't see me. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I can't become aggressive, though!" Sakura starts to cry softly. "I don't get it, what can I do to make people take me seriously?"

I continue to stroke her hair. "I think you need to talk to Hinata."

"Hinata?" Sakura turns to me, her face confused. "Why her?"

"She's one of the most powerful girls I know, and she's not aggressive at all. Still, everyone takes her seriously. How about you talk to her tonight?"

Sakura thinks for a moment, then nods. "That's a good idea. Um, I'm sorry to be a bother, but could I wash my face in your sink?"

I laugh. "Sure, do whatever. I'm about to get out anyways."

"You're a good friend, Aki." Sakura's smile is back, and it's as radiant as ever. "I'll leave you alone, now."

She exits the bathroom, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm glad she trusts me, but I'm not the best for advice. I stand up and stretch.

After drying off, I realize something horrible: I forgot to bring clothes in with me.

"Goddamn it."


	5. Winter Is Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is physically painful to post. i wrote it awhile ago and meant to rewrite it but it's important to the story so i kept it. there are snakes manifesting in my home. song list is at the end.

We're out at a karaoke bar for reasons I don't know. We started out at a restaurant, and when we left, Ino suggested we go to karaoke. No one was really against it besides Shikamaru and I. When our objections were ignored, though, we simply looked at each other and shrugged. Going against the flow is kind of troublesome.

"Let's get a large room," Kiba says. "I don't want it to be too packed!"

With that, we pay and go inside. I sit cautiously at the end of the couch that seems to line the room, and Sasuke sits next to me. Shikamaru sits next to him, then Tenten, Lee, Naruto, Kiba, Neji, Ino, Hinata, Chouji, Sakura, and finally, Shino sits across from me on the end.

"Who wants to go first?" I ask.

Naruto and Kiba share a grin. "You should, since you asked!"

"Wait, what?"

Sasuke sighs. "Every time we go to karaoke together, those idiots make up some sort of rule for who goes first."

"But I don't know any of these songs!"

Ino turns to Hinata. "Why don't you choose a song for him, then? A duet, maybe?"

"Oh, um, alright."

Hinata goes through the list, discarding songs here and there, and then decides on one. "Alright, this one. It's really pretty and kind of short, so we'll do it."

"Okay."

Hinata stands, and pulls me to my feet. She hands me a microphone, and I hold it in shaky hands. I don't think I've sung since I've been here, despite the fact that karaoke seeming to be a regular thing for this group of friends.

The song starts, and Hinata sings the first line. I follow her lead, and soon we're singing in perfect harmony. The song ends quickly, and I sit back down after handing the microphone to Sasuke.

"You're singing next," I say with venom.

He gives me a neutral expression. "What for?"

"You could have told them to stop!"

"But then I wouldn't have heard your voice."

I push his shoulder lightly, embarrassed. "Shut up."

Sasuke gets up and shrugs. "Can't be helped. Naruto, come up here. We're going to sing a duet. And I'm going to do better than you."

"You bastard! I'll definitely do better!"

Sasuke puts in a song and I immediately start giggling as the first line is shouted by both of them. Shikamaru leans over to whisper something to me.

"They do this stupid song every time. It's kind of irritating."

I smile. "It's a tradition, then?"

"I guess," Shikamaru says with a shrug. "Didn't really put much thought into it."

Soon the song is finished, and Sasuke sits down, out of breath and smiling proudly. "I definitely did better."

"Sure," I reply, mimicking Sasuke's usual fake indifference.

He pokes my cheek. "You know you enjoyed it. I could tell."

"You like staring at my face that much?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"That's not what I meant, dumbass."

Sakura stands and another song starts playing. I lose myself in her voice. The song feels so heartbreaking, but hopeful at the same time. When she sings the last note, I join the others in applauding her.

"Your voice is so pretty," I say in wonder.

Sakura crosses her arms. "Is that surprise on your face?"

"No, no, I just thought it was beautiful."

"Well, thank you." She turns away and Shino points to his cheeks, indicating that she's blushing.

We get drinks. I have just water, but others have soda or juice. Lee's drink seems kind of off-color, but before I can remark about it, he's already taken a sip.

Suddenly, his face goes bright red and his eyelids drop halfway.

"Oh no," groans Tenten. "They must've given him the wrong drink."

I look at her in confusion. "What is it?"

"Alcohol."

Neji stands up and hits Lee squarely in the chest. Lee slumps over and Neji picks up his teammate like a bag of potatoes. "We need to go," he says with an apologetic tone, tossing some money on the table for their share. "Thank you for having us here."

We say our goodbyes to the team, and when they leave, we spread out a bit more. Sasuke is still close to me, though, which doesn't bother me as much as it should.

"Who wants to sing next?" asks Kiba.

"You go," I say, crossing my arms. "You made me sing when I asked."

"Don't mind if I do!" he says with a grin. "Shino, come sing with me!"

Shino shakes his head. "No way."

"Come on, please?"

Again, the boy shakes his head. Kiba points to Ino. "Ino! Sing with me."

"Whatever," she sighs, standing up and taking a microphone.

They look over the songs for a minute, and Kiba points to one. Ino glares at him. He shrugs, and she looks away but nods.

As soon as I see the lyrics pop up on the screen, I choke on my water. It's a love song.

Kiba sings the first part, and Ino follows with the harmonies. When they reach the chorus, it's a powerful mix of their voices, and Ino's eyes close. Kiba smiles at her.

Ino starts the next verse, singing from her heart. Kiba adds his own twist in, and they finish off the second chorus with the same energy as the first. The rest of the song, they look at each other, losing themselves in the moment and just having fun. I nudge Sasuke, and point to Kiba. The Inuzuka has a faint blush on his cheeks, and he looks happier than I've ever seen him. Sasuke allows a small smile to come across his face, and looks down at me.

I'm suddenly aware of how close we are together. My hand is almost touching his, and he seems to notice this. He raises an eyebrow at me, and I look away. As Ino and Kiba's song ends, my hand brushes Sasuke's.

"Why don't we show them how it's done?" Sasuke says playfully to me.

"Fine."

Sasuke stands up and whispers something to Kiba, who whispers the same thing to Naruto. A grin breaks out on Naruto's face, and he nods furiously.

"Alright then," Sasuke says with a sense of finality. "Come on, Aki."

He pulls me up by the hand, and I look at him confusedly. He never uses a nickname for me in public.

"Into You?" I ask, looking at the title of the song displayed on the TV. "Please don't tell me it's the one I think it is."

Sasuke starts singing, and I nearly kill him right then and there. He motions to me when it gets to the pre-chorus, and I begrudgingly join him.

My voice shakes as the chorus starts, but I do my best to hit the notes while Sasuke takes the low harmonies. I glare at him the entire time, and he keeps a pleasant smile on his face. I'm fighting the urge to hurt him the entire first chorus, and then he starts the second verse.

I have to admit, he has a really nice voice. It's smooth and deep, and it suits him perfectly. I start having fun, and he can tell.

At the bridge, Sasuke looks kind of nervous. I put it aside until it's time for the riff. Sasuke stops me from singing by cupping my cheek and lightly kissing my forehead. I feel an intense blush cover my entire face, and nearly faint.

Sasuke continues singing the chorus, and I try my best to match him, my voice even shakier than before. The song ends.

"What the hell was that?" I demand angrily.

Sasuke shrugs. "I thought it would make our song a little more interesting."

"More interesting? You _kissed_ me."

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously. "Did I make a mistake?" he asks.

"Well..." I turn away and cross my arms. "Not necessarily."

Sakura and Hinata are whispering together, and I know they're talking about Sasuke and I.

"Where'd Chouji go?" I wonder aloud. He was sitting between the two girls, but I don't see him.

Shikamaru shrugs. "Bathroom, probably. I'll go check. It's noisy in here, anyways. Shino, come with me."

Shino nods and the two boys leave.

Ino grins. "All according to plan." She moves to sit closer to Kiba, who looks at her strangely.

"Is that what you were whispering to Shikamaru about?"

The blonde puts a finger to her lips and winks. "That's for me to know and you to wonder about."

"Whatever," he says, mimicking her previous reply to him.

Naruto scoots away from the couple, and Hinata and Sakura take that as a chance to sit on each side of him.

"So, Naruto," Sakura begins, "What did Kiba tell you Sasuke said?"

I lean slightly to eavesdrop, but Sasuke pulls me towards him by my arm. "Hey," he says in an offended tone. "You could always just ask me."

"Well, then," I reply. "What did you tell Kiba?"

Sasuke puts a finger to his chin in fake thought. I push him, and he smiles slightly. "I just asked if I should choose 'Into You' and add something special to it."

"That was all?" I ask.

The boy beside me pokes my cheek. "Disappointed?"

"No," I lie.

Sasuke leans down, his lips close to my ear. "Were you hoping I'd confess something to them?"

"Get off," I say weakly, refusing to answer his question.

He pulls back, smiling mischieviously. "Something wrong?"

"I'm going to the bathroom." I stand up, but Sasuke grabs my wrist. I make a surprised sound.

"Don't run away, Aki."

"I'm not," I retort irritatedly. "I have to piss."

"Oh." He lets go, and I rush out the door. When I enter the bathroom, I slide down the wall and put my face in my hands.

I'm a pretty convincing liar when I need to be.

\---

"I'm sorry," Sasuke says again from his kneeling position. "I got the wrong drink, but I didn't want to make a fuss about it and have you force me to go home!"

I cross my arms angrily. "It would have been much less embarrassing if you and I had just gone home. You don't remember any of it after Lee left?"

"I drank a lot," he admits, sitting up. "I'm pretty good at acting sober, but apparently not good enough if I have an entire drink."

I think for a moment, trying to decide if I should tell him what happened. "Ask Kiba."

"What?"

"Ask Kiba if you want to know what you did," I reply, looking away from him.

Sasuke frowns. "Alright. Did I do something inexcusable?"

"Not exactly. But you certainly made a fool of yourself."

"Alright," he sighs. "Thank you for making sure I got home safely, though."

"Thank Kiba for that as well. He's the only guy who was able to stop laughing long enough to help me after Shikamaru, Shino, and Chouji ditched."

Sasuke looks confused for a moment. "But that would have left you with Naruto and Kiba."

"Exactly."

He groans. "Alright. I'll go see Kiba. Will you go shopping with Hinata?"

"Why Hinata?"

"I don't want you out by yourself."

I shrug. "If that's what you want."

"Thank you," Sasuke says. "I'll tell her on my way to the Inuzuka home."

He stands up and goes to walk to the door, but I catch the hem of his jacket. "Sasuke."

"Hm?" He turns to look at me properly, and I let go.

"No matter what Kiba tells you," I start. "I'm not angry at you."

"That's ominous," he remarks. "I'll keep that in mind."

He leaves the house, and within 15 minutes, Hinata arrives to go shopping with me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't much of a help last night," she says as I open the door. "I'm not good at telling if people are drunk unless they have as strong of a reaction as Lee does."

I wave my hand. "It's fine. Now, let me get the list. You're welcome to come in!"

"Oh, no, it's fine, it's a pretty day outside!"

I get the list of things Sasuke & I need and walk outside.

As we walk, Hinata keeps up small talk, talking about how winter is approaching. "By extension," she says, "the Rinne Festival is approaching as well."

"What's that?" I ask curiously.

She smiles. "It's a holiday where people exchange gifts, although it was originally a time to pray for the dead."

"I should probably get something for Sasuke at least, then..." I muse. "Since I live with him and all."

Hinata leans forward a bit. "Akihiko, how do you feel about Sasuke?"

"Huh?" I look at her. "Shouldn't it be obvious? He's a dear friend to me."

"You know," she says lightly. "You asked me if I liked Naruto the first time we trained together. I purposefully missed the point there, and I think you're doing the same thing right now."

"I guess I might be," I reply begrudgingly. "The truth is, though, I'm not sure how I feel. Last night just made things even more confusing."

Hinata touches her cheek in thought. "I don't think Sasuke's actions were empty, even though they were alcohol-induced."

"Easy for you to say," I murmur. "They weren't directed at you."

"True," she admits, "But still, the way he looked at you while you sang the duet with him is similar to the way he looked at you when you were talking to Kakashi yesterday."

I think back. "You saw that?"

"We all saw that," she sighs. "Except you, apparently."

As I'm about to reply, I see Naruto and Sakura sitting together on a bench debating about something. "Hey!" I call, and they look up.

"Hey! Is Sasuke doing alright?" Sakura asks.

I nod. "He went to talk to Kiba about what happened."

"You refused to tell him?" Naruto laughs. "That's harsh!"

Hinata smiles. "Well, Sasuke did humiliate him in front of all of us save for Neji, Lee, and Tenten."

"True," Sakura nods.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask curiously.

Sakura's expression turns to one of annoyance and Naruto's matches. "He," Sakura jerks her head in Naruto's direction. "Is saying that Kiba and Ino are never going to get together. I think they will. What do you think?"

Hinata holds back a giggle. "I'm not sure, they're both pretty stubborn. If anyone gives, it'll be Kiba."

"I was thinking Ino," I say. "She gave in pretty easily last night."

Hinata laughs quietly. "That sounds gross."

"I didn't mean it that way," I whine.

Naruto crosses his arms. "I think Kiba's heart is with someone else."

"Who?" Hinata asks.

Naruto grins. "I refuse to say. His honor's at stake."

"Don't tell me you're so narcissistic that you think he likes _you_ ," I sigh.

The blond boy pouts. "No way! I like someone different!"

"Then tell us!" Sakura insists.

Naruto shakes his head. "I'm not gonna. Anyways, what are you doing here?"

"Shopping," I say with a shrug.

Sakura stands up. "Mind if we tag along?"

"That's fine with me," says Hinata, glancing at me. I nod, and Naruto stands up as well.

Sakura and I walk side by side, letting Hinata be close to Naruto. "So," I start, "Hinata told me about the Rinne Festival. What kind of gifts should I get for the others?"

"Well, usually you get everyone around you something small, but keep the biggest presents for the people you care for the most." Sakura stops. "Looks like we're at the market! What do you need to get?"

I look down at the list. "Damn it."

"What's wrong?" asks Sakura.

My cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Sasuke just wrote 'please make curry for dinner'. I don't know how to do that."

"Oh!" Sakura looks surprised, then smiles. "Lucky for you, I'm pretty good at making curry! It's kind of complicated, but it's definitely worth it."

I nod, not meeting her eyes. Sakura touches my arm, then turns to speak to Naruto and Hinata. I look over my shoulder as well.

"We're getting curry ingredients. Hinata, you know how to make it, right?"

Hinata smiles politely. "Of course I do, Sakura, what do you take me for?"

"My bad!" Sakura replies. "Naruto, you and Hinata go look for the produce and spices we need. I'll get the chicken and sauces with Aki!"

"Roger," answers Naruto. Hinata's smile turns slightly shier.

"Let's meet back here in an hour," I suggest. The others agree.

Sakura pulls me expertly through the crowd by my hand, stopping every once in a while to inquire about the prices. Soon, we have all we need with half an hour to spare.

"Let's look at the winter clothing," Sakura says, "I saw a cute scarf in the window of a shop back there!"

We walk back to it, and as soon as we walk in, my eyes are drawn to a sweater on display in the middle of the room. It's black with a simple snowflake pattern along the hem, and I can imagine Sasuke wearing it.

"Sakura?"

"What's up, Aki?"

"Do you think Sasuke would like a sweater for the festival?"

The girl beside me smiles. "I think he would."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you read it. here are the songs in order. i'm so sorry you had to read this.  
> > hinata + aki:  
>  -harmonia by rythem -> it's the second ending in the first season of naruto. i wanted a simple song that i think hinata would be comfortable singing.  
> > sasuke + naruto:  
>  -go!!! by flow -> it's the fourth opening for the first season of naruto. i've always wanted to hear those two sing this obnoxiously.  
> > sakura solo:  
>  -blue bird by ikimono-gakari -> can really be interpreted as any sad/hopeful song, though. i think sakura would sound really pretty singing it.  
> > kiba + ino:  
>  -all time low by jon bellion -> it's a really pretty song imo.  
> > sasuke + aki:  
>  -into you by ariana grande -> there's no getting out of this. i needed a song that could be turned into a duet and that was over-the-top. i actually like this song, embarrassingly enough. i was also considering "i kissed a boy" by cobra starship. i'm thankful i didn't use that one.


	6. It Finally Happens

"I'm home," I announce to an empty house. Sasuke's apparently still with Kiba, much to my relief. I run upstairs to hide my present for Sasuke while Hinata, Sakura, and Naruto start cooking. It was definitely a good idea for Hinata to go shopping with me.

I hide the neatly wrapped sweater under my underwear in my dresser. There's no way Sasuke will see it before I intend for him to! I smile to myself and run downstairs, where there's a pleasant smell already starting to form.

"Thank you again for helping," I say sheepishly to Hinata, who is doing most of the work.

She gives me a graceful smile in return. "Anything for a dear friend."

"Naruto," Sakura says exasperatedly. "Those potato chunks are too big."

The blond boy frowns. "Your mouth is just too small!"

"Naruto, Sakura's right," Hinata corrects quietly. "Most people's mouths are too small to eat chunks that large."

"Oh," he replies. "Sorry, Sakura."

"It's fine. Let's hurry so that we can eat sooner."

"Right!"

I hear the door open, and Sasuke comes in. "I'm home," he calls out.

"Welcome back," I reply.

He walks into the kitchen. "I see you hired help."

"Your instructions were too vague, asshole."

Sasuke shrugs and heads to the living room. "I just really want curry. Thanks for helping, Hinata."

"No problem at all."

Soon, Hinata and Sakura kick everyone out of the kitchen, saying that they'll finish the recipie themselves and that we should relax. Not one to test the patience of the two kunoichi, Naruto leaves without protest.

"Are you sure?" I ask, to which Sakura nods firmly.

"We're sure. You'd only be getting in the way."

I comply, entering the living room. "What are you two doing?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at the scene.

"He was speaking badly of you," Sasuke growls, eyes locked on Naruto with the blond's shirt in his fist.

Naruto coughs. "I only said that you have to be either brave or stupid to refuse an order from Sakura!"

"That's not how you phrased it, asshole." Sasuke lets go of Naruto's shirt, standing up and heading for the stairs. "Whatever. I'm going to my room."

I glance at Naruto, who looks confused and slightly scared. I follow Sasuke up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" I ask him before he can enter his room.

Sasuke doesn't turn around. "Nothing," he lies.

"Did something happen?" I walk closer to him, and he stiffens.

"Stay away from me, Akihiko."

I sigh deeply. "This is about last night, isn't it." It's a statement, not a question. "Listen, Sasuke, I told you I'm not angry-"

"Shut up!" Sasuke turns around and I see that he's upset. "I could have hurt you!"

I reach out to touch his arm, but he steps backwards. He hits the doorframe on accident and swears.

"Sasuke," I try.

"I scared you," he says through gritted teeth. "All because of my stupid pride, I scared you!"

I feel my heart starting to pound. "Sasuke, you didn't scare me, I was just-"

"You ran away from me. Kiba said he was afraid I'd touched you oddly."

"You and I both know that I would have ripped your dick off if you'd tried that."

He laughs weakly, but I can tell he's terrified. "I don't think you would've."

"Well, I might not have done that, but I would have stopped you from going further. Or at least, Hinata would have." I'm trying desperately to keep him from going into panic mode. "Honestly, the only reason I was even upset when I found out you were drunk is that I was scared you were going to hurt yourself."

"Hurt myself?" His expression changes, confusion crossing his face. "Why would I have done that?"

I put my hands on my hips. Finally, he's starting to calm down. "You were acting absolutely ridiculous. I wouldn't have been surprised if you had fallen and bashed your head open."

"Eh, I have a pretty hard head." Sasuke's expression more neutral now, and I sigh in relief.

I move to stand in front of him, and his breath catches.

"Sasuke, I need you to promise me something."

He looks down slightly, and I meet his gaze. I'm only a few cm shorter than him, but it sometimes feels like I'm tiny in comparison.

"What is it?" he prompts, voice soft.

"Stay safe to the best of your ability. I don't want you to get hurt, ever." I feel a blush start to form and break eye contact. "I'm really starting to care for you."

Sasuke touches my cheek gently, forcing me to look into his eyes again. "I'll do my best. I'm starting to care for you as well."

I smile, and touch the hand on my face. "Let's go back downstairs. I'm sure everyone has their own version of what's going on right now."

"Right," he replies with a laugh, pulling away.

We walk downstairs. Hinata's standing at the bottom of the stairway. "I was worried," she says plainly at my offended look. "I'm glad it turned out alright, though."

"Hinata, are they down yet?" Sakura calls from the kitchen.

"They are," she replies. "Do you need something?"

"No, just wanted to know since I heard you speaking."

Hinata stretches and returns to the kitchen. I look at Sasuke, and we both shrug.

"Girls," he remarks. I nod my agreement, and we walk to the living room.

Naruto's stretched out on the couch, asleep with a pillow clutched to his chest. Sasuke makes an annoyed sound and goes to wake him, but I stop him.

"Let him sleep," I say mischieviously. I walk to the kitchen and pull out two washable markers from a drawer, ignoring Sakura's questions as to what I'm going to do with them. I hand one to Sasuke. "Here."

When we enter the living room again, Naruto is starting to stir. Sasuke jumps on him, straddling Naruto's hips and holding his wrists down. He pulls the cap off the marker with his teeth and quickly starts writing.

"What the hell are you doing?" demands the squirming boy under Sasuke.

Sasuke smiles and gets up. "Testing your reflexes."

I turn to see what he wrote. "'Uchihas make the best Hokages'," I deadpan. "Clever."

Sasuke pokes my cheek playfully. "I couldn't come up with anything better on the spot."

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asks sleepily.

I shake my head, a grin still on my face. "Nothing, go back to sleep."

For the next hour or so, Sasuke tries to teach me to play shogi.

"I don't see the point," I pout. "Let's play shiritori instead. I'll start. Sora."

"Rasen," he replies, losing on purpose. I make a noise of frustration.

Hinata walks in. "Dinner's ready."

Sasuke stands up and extends his hand. I allow him to help me up, and I look over at the couch where Naruto is still asleep on his back.

"Wake up," I demand, pulling his cheeks.

Naruto wakes up and whines loudly, voice slightly muffled. "Ah gettit, ah gettit, geroff!"

"Dinner's ready," Sasuke says. I release Naruto, who jumps up and runs to the kitchen.

"Jeez," I sigh. "Immature."

Sasuke pokes my cheek. "Look who's talking."

"Hmph."

Dinner is delicious. "Hinata," Sakura says with a smile. "You really outdid yourself this time."

"I just like cooking," she replies sweetly. "It's more fun with you around, really."

I look at each of the girls in turn. They appear to have gotten closer. "It really is good, though," I add. "You two work well together."

"You think so?" asks Sakura in surprise.

I nod. "You two are going to make great wives someday."

"You sound like an old man," remarks Naruto between bites. "Not too far off, though."

I hit him on the back of the head lightly. "I'm the exact same age as you. And until I know my birthday, I'm eternally 15."

"That'll be a problem for Sasuke," Sakura says dryly. Sasuke, who has just taken a big gulp of water, chokes and begins to cough violently.

When he's done with his fit, he looks up at Sakura angrily. "The hell do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Hinata smiles at her plate, obviously trying to keep from laughing. I clear my throat and stand up. "I'm finished. Thank you for the food."

"I am as well," Sasuke says. "Thank you for the food."

I do my dishes quickly and walk upstairs. As I reach the top step I hear Sasuke ascending behind me. I stop outside my bedroom door.

"Everything alright?" he asks quietly. "I'm sorry that they're bothering you."

I clasp my hands. "It's not that they're bothering me," I begin. "Something else is bothering me."

"What's wrong? Do you want to come into my room so that they can't hear?" Sasuke looks concerned.

"Alright."

I follow him to his room. Not much has changed since I've been in here last. The photo of Sasuke and Itachi is framed and on Sasuke's bedside table. I smile slightly.

"So." Sasuke sits on his bed. "What's going on?"

I sit beside him, putting some distance between him and me. I think about what I want to say, and form my next words carefully.

"How do you feel about me?"

Sasuke's face turns red but he otherwise shows no sign of discomfort. "What do you mean?"

"I just," I feel my face heat up. "Hinata and I were talking today, and I was talking about you. Nothing bad, of course." I'm stalling at this point, and only getting more nervous. It's time to end this. "Sasuke, you know what happened last night, I know Kiba told you. Was even a part of the Sasuke that kissed me part of you?"

Sasuke looks surprised, and he looks away, a blush firmly on his face. "Why do you want to know?" His voice is small.

"I like you. A lot. And I want to know if you feel the same." I keep my voice strong, even though I'm breaking on the inside. "If you feel nothing for me in that regard, I'll give up. I'll suppress the feelings until I don't feel them anymore. But," I pause and take a deep breath. "If there's even a little part of you that feels that sort of thing for me, I'm not going to give up on you. I know I'm not who you remember, but I want to be with you anyways. Sasuke, I really, really like you."

The boy in front of me finally meets my eyes, and he has an expression of confidence I've never seen in him before. "Then," he says, voice shaking. "I guess there's only one way for me to answer."

My heart nearly stops as his left hand moves to cup my cheek, and it for sure stops when he leans forward. I close my eyes, and feel a soft pair of lips kiss me on the cheek. I hum happily.

"Was that alright?" he whispers. His confidence is still there, but the fear of hurting me seems to be making an appearance.

I smile, and lean my head on his shoulder. "It was perfect."

\---

"Sasuke." I nudge the sleeping boy gently. "Up."

He lets out a soft whine. "Nooo..."

"It's the start of the festival today, and I have something for you before we go to Hinata's party."

Sasuke turns slightly towards me, his eyes starting to open. He notices the light streaming in through the window. "What time's it?"

"About 8:30, I was finally able to disable those goddamn alarm clocks to let you sleep in."

He smiles sleepily and sits up. "G'job."

"Thank you. Anyways, get dressed."

Not much has changed as far as daily life goes, but there's a sense of closeness between Sasuke and I that wasn't there before. He smiles more, and he's started calling me 'Aki' in public as well. We still haven't really kissed, but I don't mind. It's his choice.

Hinata and Sakura found out about our growing relationship quickly, but the others still don't know. Or if they do, they haven't told me. I think Shikamaru and Kakashi know, though. Maybe Neji as well. It doesn't bother me. They're giving us privacy and they're good people, so I don't mind the whisper now and then when I stand closer than usual to Sasuke.

I guess I can call him my "boyfriend"? It's more like we're romantic companions. We don't really go out on dates - honestly, I feel that it'd be kind of awkward if we did. My ideal night with him is cuddling under the kotatsu (which he has finally brought out, thank God).

I return to my room, leaving my door open. I pull the wrapped sweater out from my drawer. To think that this little thing could give me so much courage... I hope Sasuke likes it.

"What's that?" he asks from the doorway, trying to act disinterested. It never works.

I pat the bed beside me, and he sits down immediately. "I hope you like it," I say as I hand it to him.

Sasuke opens it carefully, and when he sees the fabric he gets a confused expression. He pulls it out and holds it up. "A sweater?"

"Yeah, I just thought you might like it since it's warm and..." I pause, concerned. "Do you not like it?"

The boy beside me just grins. "I love it."

"Thank goodness," I sigh in relief. "I bought it the day I confessed, you know."

Sasuke puts it down and pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I reply.

He stands up, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. "Well, then, I guess I'd better go put this on. And you should finish getting dressed."

"Is this not OK?" I ask. I'm in my everyday clothing, just with longer sleeves.

Sasuke pokes the spot he kissed. "It's perfectly fine, I just have something for you as well."

"You do?" I ask hopefully.

He winks and leaves my room. A minute later, he's in the sweater and holding a box. "It's not the most creative thing ever, but Kakashi wanted me to be the one to give it to you. I swear, he knows I'm with you."

"I'm fine with anything from you," I reply with a smile. I take the box from him and open it slowly. When I see what's inside, my eyes fill with tears.

Sasuke leans down, enveloping me with a warm hug. "Welcome home, Aki."

I pull away and tie the forehead protector around my neck, mimicking Hinata's way of wearing hers. Sasuke ruffles my hair affectionately.

"Let's go, then," he says, pulling me to my feet.

I stretch and take his hand. "Today," I say with a smile, "will be a good day."

"I certainly hope so."

We walk down the road a ways before knocking on Hinata's door. "Come in," she calls from within the house. It's lively in there, and Sasuke & I can hear it from outside. We give each other a look, and to my surprise, Sasuke kisses my forehead.

"Let's tell them."

I lean my head on his shoulder. "If that's what you want."

"Is it OK?" he asks.

I nod. "It's always been OK."

With that, we walk inside. Chatter stops for a moment when we step into the living room, and Naruto hits Kiba lightly on the head. "Told you."

"Finally," Ino sighs dramatically. "I was wondering when you two were going to admit it."

I grin, exaggeratedly kissing Sasuke on the cheek. "Admit what?"

"I'd just like to say that I was the first to know," Sakura says.

Hinata pokes her friend's shoulder. "We were the first to know, you mean."

"True."

With that, the party resumes, Hinata and Sakura making room between themselves for Sasuke and I to sit. "I see you both liked your gifts," Sakura remarks.

"No," I respond with sarcasm. "Not at all."

The pink-haired girl, who's on my left side, pulls my hair lightly. "You know, I was the one who encouraged you to buy the sweater."

"I'm eternally grateful."

"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Sasuke notes.

I pout up at him. "Everything becomes me."

"Except sarcasm."

We talk with everyone at some point, and a few hours later I find myself in between Neji and Tenten, who are asking me about Sasuke's treatment of me.

"He's not pushing you to do anything?" Tenten asks, concerned.

"I'll kill him if he lays a hand on you," says Neji in complete seriousness.

I sigh. "He's not going to hurt me. I can defend myself."

"Or can you?" Sasuke stands in front of us, and I smile gratefully. He extends his hand. "Let's step outside."

I nod. Parties can be a bit much for both of us. "I'll be back," I say to the two.

As Sasuke and I step into the cool winter air, I find myself shivering. It's the middle of the day, but I'm still freezing.

"You alright?" Sasuke asks, pulling me to his chest for warmth.

I smile. "I am now."

"It's awfully chilly for a Konoha day," he muses. "I wonder how cold it is."

I shrug slightly. "Dunno."

"You two are so cute," says a voice that sounds vaguely familiar.

I pull away from Sasuke as a sense of dread starts to envelop me. "Sasuke," I breathe. "Something is wrong."

"It's silent." A terrified expression comes over his face. "Aki..."

I grab his hand. "The others!"

"Not so fast."

This voice is different. Two figures come into view, both in red-and-black coats and hats that cover their faces. Sasuke pulls me behind him quickly, and the figures laugh.

"Who are you?" he demands.

I hear a rustling noise, and assume that one of the figures took off his hat. "I'm hurt that you don't recognize me, Sasuke."

Sasuke's breath catches, and a sob escapes his lips. I lean to the side to see better, but Sasuke stops me.

"Don't look," he says weakly, as if in terrible pain. "It's Itachi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun DUUUUUN


	7. Red Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i'm posting a lot today. will this happen again? probably not.

When I wake up, I genuinely think that yesterday was just a bad dream. That is, until I realize I'm on a hard, hospital-like bed in a stone chamber. The door is open, though.

Memories of yesterday come flooding back. After Itachi and his partner, who called himself 'Kisame', announced their presence, they knocked out Sasuke and then me, not giving our friends a chance to attack. I can only assume I was placed on this bed upon arrival to their hideout or whatever.

"Sasuke?" I call softly. No response, not even an echo. I decide to get up.

Despite my uncomfortable sleeping arrangement, I'm not in any pain other than a general ache all over and a headache. I walk to my open door, cautiously sticking my head out. I shiver. Although my forehead protector is still around my neck, I've been forcefully changed into a plain black tank top and black shorts. I have no shoes on. As there is nothing in my room, I don't want to stay there, but I fear the unknown.

"What the hell," I mutter to myself, shaking the fear off. "Might as well try to find Sasuke."

I pad quietly out of my room, finding myself in a long stone hallway. I'm the last room on the left side, if you were to look at it facing the end of the hall. There's a room a little ways down on the opposite side, and I decide to try my luck.

"You're awake, hm."

I nearly jump out of my skin at the voice behind me. How did someone get behind me without my noticing? Moreover, whoever it is, I don't recognize their voice.

"You can face me, you know." The voice sounds irritated.

I turn around. I'm face to face with a young man, and immediately I'm reminded of Ino. He has blond hair that covers one of his eyes, and the rest is in a high ponytail. He's wearing the same red-and-black coat that Itachi and Kisame wore. Somehow, I feel less fear near him than I did with the other two.

"Who are you?" I ask, trying to keep my tone polite. I don't want to die today.

The man crosses his arms, looking incredibly annoyed. "Pein had told Itachi not to eff up your brain completely, but he did anyways, apparently."

"I did what?" Itachi exits the room I was planning to go into, and I'm instantly glad the blond man stopped me from making that terrible decision.

He turns to Itachi indignantly. "You jacked up his brain! Now what are we going to do, hm?"

"I didn't do anything of the sort. Aki's just having some trouble adjusting."

I cross my arms. "Itachi."

"See, he knows who I am."

"I only know you're the bastard that skipped out on Sasuke when he was expecting you to come back."

Itachi's eyes narrow. "This isn't funny, Akihiko."

"I'm not playing games, Itachi. I have no goddamn clue who you are other than the fact that I recognized you from the photo under my bed."

The Uchiha turns slightly red. "What photo?"

"When I started living with Sasuke, I found a photo of you and him under the mattress of my bed."

"And?"

"Wait a second," I say, realizing something. "Did you live in the room across from Sasuke's upstairs?"

Itachi pales. "Dear God. You slept in my bed."

I'm about to retch violently when another man exits a room further down the hall.

"Will you bitches shut up?" he groans, smoothing back his gelled gray hair. "I'm trying to do something called sleep, ever heard of it?"

I cross my arms angrily. "Back to my original point. Who the hell are all of you?"

"Wow, you messed up big time," the new man says in wonder.

"I'm aware of that," retorts Itachi.

The blond sighs. "Let's take him to Pein."

"And get me insta-killed?"

"Think about it, Itachi, would Pein be more angry if we came to him with the issue, or if he had to find out about it on his own?"

"Let's take him to Pein."

"I knew we'd see eye-to-eye on this, hm."

Itachi takes my left arm, and the blond takes my right. The gray-haired man smirks.

"I'll tag along in case you get obliterated."

"Can I at least know your names?" I ask weakly, knowing that any objections I have will be ignored.

"That's Itachi," the blond says.

Itachi groans. "He knows that, asshole."

"Oh. I'm Deidara. That's Hidan. Everyone calls him 'jackass', though."

Hidan smirks. "I own it."

"Whatever."

Itachi and Deidara pull me on through a series of winding hallways, ending up at a throne room-type setup. A man with bright orange hair and a lot of piercings sits atop a chair in the middle of the room, on top of a small stair set. It's definitely a throne room.

"Pein," Itachi starts, "we have a problem."

Pein looks down at me, and I stare back up with fear in my eyes. "I can see that," he replies. "Akihiko isn't himself."

"I may have gone overboard in 'convincing' him to go back."

I break eye contact with Pein and look instead to Itachi. His expression is cold. "What do you mean?" I ask fearfully.

"Shut up," he answers, not bothering to look at me.

I suddenly realize how cold I am, and a shiver runs through my body. There's no heating down here, and I'm dressed very scantily. The back of a warm hand rubs my right arm. I don't have to look to know that Deidara is taking pity on me.

"Hidan," commands Pein, and I hear the gray-haired man hum in reply. "Go get Akihiko's coat."

"Whatever." The sound of footsteps leaving is all that I can hear for a good few seconds. Then Pein speaks again.

"Akihiko."

I look back up at him. "Yes?"

"Answer me honestly. How powerful are you in this state?"

I shrug nervously. "I'm alright at taijutsu, but I'm not very good with ninjutsu. I know absolutely no genjutsu." I know there's no point in lying.

"Alright." Pein looks from Itachi to Deidara. "You two will leave once Akihiko has his coat back." Itachi begins to protest, but Pein holds up his hand for silence. "I'm not afraid of this child. I highly doubt he has the energy to take me on."

Deidara continues trying halfheartedly to warm me. "D'you want us to stay outside, hm?"

"Hidan will do it," dismisses Pein.

"I'll do what?" Hidan enters the room, a coat similar to the others' slung over his arm.

"Good, you're back. Once Akihiko has his coat on, you will stand guard outside the enterance and the other two will go back to their rooms. Now," Pein gestures to Deidara and Itachi, who drop my arms. "One of you help Akihiko."

"I can do it myself," I say quietly. Hidan tosses the coat at me, and I catch it easily.

Pein nods. "Alright. You three. Leave."

The three men leave, bickering softly amongst themselves. I pull on my coat and fasten it. It's a little big on me, but it's comfy and warm.

"Akihiko," Pein muses. "You've been gone for hardly two months, and yet you already completed your task perfectly. You, of course, have no idea what that task is, but you still did it, and for that, I'll welcome you back as a full-fledged member of the Akatsuki."

I almost don't want to ask, but I have to know. "What exactly... was I supposed to do?"

"You didn't want to do it," starts Pein. "I know you didn't, but you were the only one who could. Well, Itachi may have been able to, but he's never really been one for sublety."

"My mission," I press.

"Right. Your mission. It was to gain the younger Uchiha's trust and lure him into our grasp."

My blood runs cold, and I sink to my knees. "Why?"

"I want him to join our ranks. To defect from Konoha, like you secretly did, and become one of us."

I clasp my hands together in an almost praying manner. "What have I done?"

"You did good," he praises. "If only I could give you your memory back. I'm sure you'd be proud of yourself, as well."

My eyes close tightly, and I try to prevent myself from crying. "Please don't hurt Sasuke."

"I'm not planning to," Pein reassures me. "I'm not planning to hurt you either."

Something inside of me is broken, and I wonder if this is how it felt to Sasuke when I left. I put my hands firmly on the ground in front of me, trying to keep myself upright.

"Is there anything else you wish to say or ask?" Pein's voice is emotionless.

I shake my head and force myself onto my feet.

"When Sasuke wakes up, I'll tell him where your room is."

I nod. My head is a mess right now, and there's no possible way I can think straight. I exit the throne room, and as soon as the door closes, a hand is around my throat. My eyes snap open.

"Bet you forgot about me, kitten." Hidan's voice is rough. "I heard everything. You sure fooled that asshole into thinking you're powerful. All you are is lovesick." His grip tightens, and I can't breathe.

I scratch at Hidan's arm, starting to lose consciousness. "Please," I beg, barely able to choke out the word. "Someone, help..."

The world begins to darken, and I resign myself to death. Suddenly, the world is back in focus, and I can breathe again. I cough violently, falling to the ground on my hands and knees.

"That's a good look for you, hm," says a softer voice than Hidan's. I recognize it immediately.

"Deidara," I try to stand again, but to no avail. "A little late."

The blond shrugs, pulling me up. "I knew he was gonna try something." He looks down at Hidan, who's passed out against the stone wall. "Disgusting excuse for a human being."

"Agreed." I take a wobbly step forward.

Deidara sighs, and extends his arm. "You look terrible," he remarks.

"Just had the biggest shock of my life." I try another step, but give up and hold onto the offered arm. "Was I really part of this organization?"

"Yeah," he answers. "You worked with Zetsu, hm."

"Zetsu?" I ask. "Who's that?"

Deidara glances down at me. "You'll find out soon enough."

"Oh. Alright."

We walk in silence, our footsteps echoing off the walls. I'm getting tired quickly, but if Deidara notices, he doesn't seem to care.

"We're back." His voice is flat, and I notice that he's stopped at his room instead of mine.

An even flatter voice answers him. "So it's true."

"Be more specific, Master Sasori."

I hear the bed creaking as Sasori stands up. "Akihiko." He regards me coldly.

My breath catches. Dear God, he's handsome. He has sharp brown eyes and short red hair. He looks about the same age as Deidara - speaking of which, how old is everyone?

"You're staring," Deidara says with a smirk. I look away.

Sasori crosses his arms. "He's different. What happened?"

"Dunno. Itachi really screwed up, though."

I chew on my lower lip. "What did he even do?"

"Well, he was told to do whatever it takes to get you back into Konoha, so I'm assuming he tortured you until your mind broke."

I frown, looking at Deidara. "That's a bit cruel."

"You were a 'bit cruel' as well before you left," he says, smiling at the memory. "Even Hidan feared you. I bet the reason he attacked you was to get some easy revenge."

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and it's definitely not Deidara's.

"Aki!"

"Small one."

Two voices come from the same person. I whip around, nearly falling. Deidara catches me.

"Zetsu," he sighs. "Aki's out of commission right now. What do you want?"

"Just to talk."

I eye the man(?) in front of me. He looks vaguely human-shaped, but his skin is half black / half white and he has the mouth of a venus flytrap around his neck. His gold eyes are locked on me.

"You doubt me," he observes.

Sasori sighs, and I remember he's there. "I was trying to rest, you know."

"Sorry, sorry." Deidara obviously isn't bothered at all by any of this.

Zetsu continues to stare at me. "Can we talk?" he asks.

"Alright," I reply, nervous.

He turns on his heel and heads for my room. How he knows where I was sleeping, I have no clue, but he disappears into my room.

"Goodnight," Deidara says offhandedly. I nod, and walk steadily to my room.

Zetsu is sitting on my bed. "You're scared."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I try to remain calm. "I'm in a strange situation, with people I've never met before, and apparently I've done something horrible to someone I care for a lot."

Zetsu lightly pats the bed beside him, and I sit to his left. "You look cold."

"It's cold down here in general," I reply. I'm starting to get used to the short responses.

The man feels my forehead. "No fever."

"It's just cold."

Suddenly, Zetsu's voice changes to the higher pitched one that spoke first. "It's good to see you again!"

"Thank you," I say cautiously. "Deidara told me we used to work together."

Zetsu grins. "True. We worked pretty damn well as a team! Not as well as me and my other half, though!"

"Don't refer to me that way," the deeper voice interjects.

I smile slightly. "So," I begin, but stop when I hear a loud crash outside my room.

"Where the hell is he?" I hear Sasuke yell.

Deidara's nervous voice cuts through the silence a few seconds after Sasuke finishes. "If you mean Aki, he's in the last room down the hall."

"Don't you say his name like you know him!"

I look at Zetsu, and he helps me up. I'm still slightly weak, and so he supports me as I walk out of the room.

"Aki!" Sasuke's expression is one of pure relief, and then his eyes narrow at Zetsu. "Who the hell are you?"

Zetsu's eyes narrow back. "Watch your mouth, child," warns the deeper voice.

"Zetsu," I say softly. "Stop."

Said man turns to me indignantly. "You think I'll obey you?"

"Aki, these people are crazy," Sasuke hisses, running to my side. "They said you betrayed me on purpose!"

I feel a pang of guilt in my heart. "I was supposed to, apparently."

"You... what?" Sasuke looks confused. "What do you mean?"

Deidara, who's been watching us the entire time, huffs and stomps over to Sasuke. "Your precious boyfriend used to be one of us. Key words, 'used to be'. Your goddamn older brother broke his mind when trying to get him to betray you."

"Itachi would never," he defends.

"I'd never do what?"

Itachi walks into the hallway from his room. "Oh. You're awake, little brother. That's where all the noise came from."

"Big bro!" Sasuke turns around to look at his elder brother, eyes full of hope. For a second, Itachi's expression softens. Then, it's back to normal.

"Sasuke," Itachi begins, but before he can continue, Sasuke has him in a hug. Itachi looks irritated, and pushes his younger sibling off of him. "Listen, Sasuke, I need to talk to you."

Sasuke pulls away, realization beginning to set in. "Big brother... you've changed."

"No shit," Deidara remarks. Itachi's glare prevents him from speaking again.

I start feeling dizzy again, but Zetsu has a firm hand on my back to keep me upright. "Don't look into his eyes," he murmurs close to my ear. I give a slight nod.

"I need you to join the Akatsuki." Itachi's voice is cold. "We are going to capture the One-Tail's jinchuruki soon, and I need you to be there."

Sasuke takes a step back. "What?"

"You're extremely powerful, and a genius, like I was when I was your age. However, you're too soft-willed and need more discipline."

I'm about to go to attack Itachi when another dizzy spell hits. It starts to consume me, and I feel a strong sense of deja vu. I fail to stay upright and fall to the ground. Someone catches me, but I'm not sure who. Reality fades in and out, and then disappears altogether.


	8. Broken Beyond Repair

"Choose."

In the darkness, I feel extremely irritated. "Shut up," I command.

"Attitude? Why I oughtta - oh. It's you. My frequent flier."

I would cross my arms if my ethereal form had a body. "I don't like the life I got back. I fell in love."

"There's always a risk of that," the voice dismisses. "Can't you just betray them?"

I sigh. "There's the problem. I don't want to."

"Oh, it's him, isn't it?"

I'd be blushing if, again, my ethereal form had a body. "Not who you think, it's just Itachi's little brother, Sasuke."

"If he's anything like Itachi," muses the voice, "then he'll be useful to you."

"I don't want to use him," I say frustratedly. "I actually like him."

The voice makes an interested noise, as if to raise an eyebrow at me. "That's rare. Is there any way you can shut it out?"

"It's really obvious that you aren't human sometimes."

The voice makes a noise of irritation. "Well, what do you expect me to do? Give you a different choice? As the embodiment of Death itself, I'm not supposed to do that."

"You're not supposed to allow ressurections either," I counter. The voice sighs deeply.

"Fine. You want everything AND life? You'll get everything and life. But again, I'm not supposed to do that."

"How did I even almost-die from fainting, anyways?" I whine.

"Dunno," answers the voice. "Crap can happen. Anyways, by the power vested in me, yadda yadda, you know what's going to happen this time."

I hold my breath as I'm torn back into life.

\---

The first thing I notice is Sasuke and Itachi's screaming match just outside my room. It's muffled slightly by the heavy wooden door shut firmly in place, but I still find myself pissed off.

"Goddamn it," I mutter, sitting up. Deidara - that ass, I can't believe he had to save me! - is sitting at the end of my bed.

"You're up," he says cheerfully. I glare harshly at him.

"You let Itachi screw my brain up," I accuse.

Deidara looks surprised for a second, and then he smirks. "You're back."

"Damn right I am!" I move to punch him, but he catches my wrist. The disgusting mouth of his is pressed against my skin, and I radiate killing intent.

The blond bastard places a small kiss to my forehead and releases me. "Glad to see you again, Aki."

"Die."

I slam open the door to my room, startling both Uchihas. My eyes fix on Itachi, and I slam him against the wall by his collar. "You. Goddamn. Asshole." With every word, I slam him harder into the stone wall. I'm absolutely furious. I want to kill him for what he did to me.

"Aki," Sasuke pleads, tone fearful. I realize that I'm acting extremely out-of-character, and force myself to calm down.

I let go of Itachi's collar and sigh deeply. "Sasuke," I begin. "I'm sorry."

"I..." He pauses, unsure of what to say. Fear pierces my heart.

I step closer to him, but he backs up. "Sasuke," I try again. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You lied," he says brokenly. "You said you didn't remember anything." He turns to run, but is stopped by Sasori's firm hands on his shoulders.

Deidara walks into the hallway. "Sasuke, Aki only just got his memories back. Something happened when he fainted."

"I really didn't remember anything before just now," I say truthfully. "I woke up and some weird Death-type thing gave me back my memories."

Sasuke turns around, looking from face to face in the hallway. He looks as scared as I felt when I woke up those few months ago. "How do I know I can trust any of you?" he demands. "My best friend-" It feels as though he's stabbed me. "-nearly killed my older brother-" Itachi glares at me. "-who I just found out is part of some secret organization trying to take over the world!"

"What the HELL is all of this noise about?" Hidan whines, rubbing the back of his head.

Deidara looks at me, an eyebrow raised. I decide to give into my impulses and virtually fly at the idiot, knocking him roughly onto the ground. He winces as his back scrapes along the ground, but quickly replaces the expression with one of utter contempt.

"So you finally woke up, kitten," he hisses.

I'm straddling his chest, pinning his arms above his head with one hand. "I'm going to destroy you."

"To echo Hidan, what the hell is the cause for the commotion?" Pein walks down the hallway. "You're disturbing me."

I release my hold on Hidan, who promptly shoves me off and stands up. "This little bitch," Hidan says angrily, "has turned into a bigger bitch!"

"Oh. Welcome back, then, Akihiko." Pein smiles slightly and nods to me.

I cross my arms in response. "You knew."

"You're not the only one who's encountered Death before."

Sasuke groans loudly. "You're all crazy!"

"I'm sorry," I respond automatically.

He glares at me weakly. "Aki..."

"Right. I need to be more considerate."

Sasuke nods and comes back over to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. I feel my face get hot, and remember why I'm so angry at Death.

"Sasuke," I begin, "I don't want you to get hurt because of me. In the short amount of time that the 'other' me knew you, I really fell for you."

Deidara mimes vomiting, and I pull a kunai from my coat pocket to throw at him. He dodges easily.

"Anyways," I continue with a cough. "I want you to go home and leave me behind."

Pein starts to protest, but I put up my hand similar to the way he did earlier.

The others stare as I get on my hands and knees. They stare even more as I bow my head so low that it touches the ground. "Please!" I beg. "Let Sasuke go! I will do anything!"

"You're doing so much for that brat?" exclaims Hidan. I don't even look up to glare.

Pein makes a thoughtful noise. "Well," he says. "It would be helpful to have someone like you on the front lines. You usually stay back or spy, but with your ability in taijutsu... anything can happen."

"Wait," Sasuke's voice is fearful. "Does this mean I'm going to be separated from him?"

Deidara sighs. "I knew this wouldn't be clean."

"Unless you want to stay and help kidnap the One-Tail's jinchuruki, then yes, you'll be separated from your 'best friend'." Itachi speaks up, and I know he's trying to get me to crack. I remain in the same position, now fighting tears.

Sasuke stutters nonsensically for a few seconds, then his resolve hardens. "I'll get him back. Aki, be strong."

"Alright then. Zetsu, please take him back to his village." Pein's word is law.

Zetsu makes a noise of affirmation. He stops beside me for a second, as if he wants to say something, then leaves with Sasuke.

"Rise." The leader's voice is sad.

I sit up, eyes filled with tears. "Thank you," I say softly. "I'm sorry for being a nuisance."

"It's fine," he replies. "Alright, everyone. Go to your rooms. I'm exhausted."

After everyone goes to their rooms, I feel someone still in the hallway with me.

"You really love him that much, hm?" Deidara asks.

I nod brokenly. "I really, really do. So much I can't stand it."

"I'm sorry, Aki."

Despair consumes me, and I start sobbing. Deidara picks me up and takes me into his and Sasori's room.

"He's upset," Sasori observes.

"No shit," Deidara replies.

I cry and cry and cry, until I'm shaking and nothing else will come out, until all that's left of me is a shell and I feel nothing. It is then I realize that Deidara's sleeping beside me, his arms around my torso and a calm look on his face.

I give in to exhaustion, stretching out and leaning my forehead against the blond's chest. He's warm, and I can almost pretend he's Sasuke. It's with my imagination going that I fall asleep.

\---

"Wake up, hm." Deidara's voice is firm, and he's pushing me off of him the best he can.

When my eyes flutter open, I realize that I'm cuddled tightly against his midsection. "God, I'm sorry!" I separate immediately, sitting up against the wall.

"Nah, it's alright. I just want to get up to piss, and I can't wait any longer." With that, the blond races out of the room.

I sigh, pulling my knees to my chest. Yesterday - well, last night - is a blur of color and emotions. I woke up not knowing where I was or who was with me, and I fell asleep weeping about the loss of the boy I was ordered to betray.

"This is all fucked," I sigh. I hear shifting in the bed across the room, and I know Sasori is waking up. Funny, I didn't know puppets slept. Speaking of puppets...

Why the hell did I think Sasori was handsome when I was still an amnesiac? I mean, seriously! The guy is in his thirties! Gross! I guess I didn't know his age, and he does look about the same age as Deidara.

"Aki?"

I hear White Zetsu call for me. "I'm in here," I reply. My voice is scratchy. I didn't notice at first, but I'm really worn down from crying. I wonder how I look.

"Woah, you're a wreck."

"Crying does that to you."

"Wouldn't know." Zetsu sits beside me on Deidara's bed. "Are you alright? You weren't in your room when I came back from taking Sasuke back to the village."

I look up at my partner. "I'll be fine. Is Sasuke alright?"

"He's pretty distraught, I'm not gonna lie, but he agreed to keep your affiliation to the Akatsuki a secret from the general public. He will, however, be telling his leader and your friends everything."

I bite my lip in thought. "Did he say anything about Tsunade?"

"I think he's going to keep it from her unless the leader or someone decides to tell her. So, as far as everyone else knows, you got kidnapped by us and nothing more."

I nod. I can handle that. It'll make things easier for infiltration missions. I'm pretty plain-looking, as far as a ninja goes.

"Oh, about your forehead protector..."

My blood runs cold, and I touch the one around my neck. "Do I have to ruin it?"

"I talked to Pein. He said you can keep this one clean, but you have to wear your old one on missions."

I sigh and put a hand on Zetsu's shoulder. "Thank you."

"Eh. What're friends for?"

Deidara comes back in. "You're looking better, hm," he remarks to me. "Good news?"

"Yeah. I can keep the forehead protector Sasuke gave to me!"

He rolls his eyes. "That's all? You really have changed."

"I haven't changed enough to forget how to kick your ass," I threaten.

The blond puts his hands up in mock-surrender, smirking at me. The mouths open. "I'll take you on any time."

"Is that a challenge?" I stand, glaring at him.

He reaches out a hand to lick my cheek, and I give him an uppercut that makes him fall backwards. "Nah, no, nope, nada, nein."

"Good." I help him up, and thankfully those damn mouths are closed again.

Deidara rubs his jaw, wincing. "I think I'm the one who's forgotten that you can kick my ass."

"Morning," Sasori greets, sitting up. His puppet body is on full display - it'd be kind of stupid if he slept in a coat.

Deidara crosses his arms, but smiles. "Took you long enough to get up!"

"Is everything alright?" He obviously doesn't care, but asks anyways. "You cried quite a long time last night. It was hard to fall asleep."

I look away. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Sasori."

"Whatever." The puppet stands up and pulls his coat on. "It's good that you didn't abandon us," he says warningly. "I might have had to track you down for that."

Zetsu makes a noise, but whether it's from anger or amusement I can't tell. "I'm sure that the humans are hungry," Black Zetsu says. "Let's go to the dining hall."

"Alright."

Sasori is the first to leave, with Zetsu following after him. Deidara and I look at each other and shrug.

"Might as well," he says, and I agree.

It's been so long since I've been back here. I nearly get lost, but Deidara has a firm hold of my hand and is pulling me through the corridors easily. It almost reminds me of last night, except that I'm alright with this.

"Deidara," I start, but before I can continue we're at the dining hall.

I look around, and my eyes rest on Hidan, who's intensely glaring at me. I scowl. He moves to stand up, but Kakuzu yanks him down by his coat.

"Aki!" Kisame comes up from behind and greets me cheerfully, pulling my cheek lightly.

I can't help but smile. "Hey, sharkboy."

"Doing alright?"

"As good as I can be in my situation."

"Good, then."

Itachi glares at me from my other side. "Kisame, what are you doing?"

"Saying hello to a comrade, what are you doing?"

The Uchiha sighs and ignores the question, going to an empty two-seater table. Kisame just smiles at me.

"Sorry, Itachi's kind of cranky today. I managed to sleep through all the excitement last night, but I don't think anyone else did. Not even Kakuzu or Konan!"

Deidara raises an eyebrow. "Well, you didn't really miss out."

"Apparently I did. Itachi woke me up and complained for 2 hours before he decided to go to sleep."

I cross my arms. "It's his fault this all happened, you know."

"I know," he admits. "He really shouldn't have hurt you. What did he even do?"

I shrug, not willing to admit that I'm not sure exactly what occured. "What he does best, I'm sure." That's a safe answer, right?

"Gotcha." Kisame stands up straight. "Well, I'll go make some toast and coffee. Looks like Itachi needs it!"

I nod. Deidara rests his arm on my shoulder, and I glare at him. "What's that for?" I ask.

"Dunno."

"Then get off."

"Jeez," Deidara complains. "I almost like your docile personality better!"

I ignore him and sit at a four-seater table with Zetsu and Sasori. Sasori has his head resting on his arms, and appears to be asleep. Zetsu's just staring off into space. Neither acknowledge me, for which I'm thankful. I mimic Sasori, laying my head down on my overlapped hands. I close my eyes.

"Aki," I hear White Zetsu say, and I feel a hand shaking my shoulder.

I lift my head, and see Zetsu's concerned face looming above me. "Hm?"

"You were talking."

My face heats up. "Um, what was I saying?"

"Nothing weird, just 'no' and 'stop' and stuff like that," Deidara answers for Zetsu.

I look at my hands. I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but I'm guessing it had to do with Itachi. "Sorry for the trouble," I reply meekly.

"It's alright," White Zetsu answers with a wave of his hand.

I stand up and bump right into Hidan, who grabs my wrist firmly to keep me from falling. "Watch where you're going, Aki," he hisses.

"Right," I reply, dumbfounded. "Sorry."

He releases my wrist and rushes out of the dining hall. Kakuzu follows him, completely ignoring me.

"What an ass, hm," Deidara sighs.

I can't help but feel that he could have started something, but chose not to. Sasori, who has an unreadable expression, apparently thinks the same thing.

"He's acting different," he observes.

I nod. "He said my name. It's unnerving."

"I know that look," Deidara accuses. "You're going to find out what's going on."

I look up at Deidara innocently. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're a spy, and that's what spies do."

"I resent that," White Zetsu interjects.

I smile. "Curiosity will be the death of me." With that, I turn on my heel and walk out.

"Do you think it'll work?" asks Deidara quietly, and I almost don't hear Sasori's reply.

"It already has."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all i have pre-written so far! sorry if i don't update for a really long time


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